The 7 Secrets of Ascension

Acceleration Your Ascension

Video 7 

Related Downloads

Join The Ascension Portal

Related Links

Recommended Guided Meditations

Ascension Teachings Videos

Video 1


Video 2


Video 3


Video 4

Feminine & Masculine

Video 5

Ego Surrender

Video 6



Meditation Experiences

The most powerful meditation I’ve ever done. Amazing healing energies came through.   I feel like I’ve released in the first sitting some of the reasons I got breast cancer.   Namaste


I have been listening to the Self-Love Meditation over and over again for the past week. It definitely touches me to the core of my being. I have begun to realize how much I don’t love myself due to lots of trauma early on in my life. However, with this meditation, I have seen that it is possible to live in the present moment and be released from the negative feelings & emotions of my past. It is possible to really love my self from my soul. I can now release the disconnection feelings I previously held onto. This has paved the way for me to have an openness with my therapist as never before. I am now working through issues where previously I was stuck in shame & guilt to the point that I was unable to have a meaningful dialogue with her. Now things are coming to the surface where I can face my deepest fears & be released from them. Thanks so much for making this available to me!


“What a blessing you are to me! This meditation is helping me to release deep seated emotional pain from utero on. To be trapped in sorrow for so many years and not have the tools to heal is truly crucifying. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your gifts with those like myself longing to become whole and complete. God’s blessings on you and yours!”

Linda M

Niki thank you so much for the self love meditation.

I've always felt I’ve lived my life ‘on the outside looking in’ at others and their groups!! Having had a childhood where I was very tearful and hated being left at school, understandably, I had no friends. Listening to your beautiful beautiful meditation, it was a complete eye opener to me that it wasn’t my fault I had been like that. I naturally turned it all around when I arrived at secondary school but oh my goodness, what a first 11 years!! Thank you Niki. I find all this Emotional experience analysis so much more exciting and interesting that nutritional therapy. Very kind regards.

Warmest Wishes Christine

“I just wish to tell you that your meditation exercise is very extraordinarily unique.  I had tried other meditation exercises, but I am not sure what is the special ingredient/s or recipes which made your meditation so special, that I find my brain longs to go back to that parasympathetic state when I listen to your meditations.  As a result, suddenly I have self-awareness that my brain has always been in a state of fight, flee and freeze, so I need to retrain my neural connections to be calm, grounded and mindful of who I am, by constantly visualise and re-direct my brain to that calm and restful state when I listen to your meditations.I just wish to say thank you to you Niki for so generously sharing your meditations to help people to grow out of their traumatic neural states.“


“And especially, I want to say thank you for your meditation. I’ve long appreciated how useful (essential?) meditation is in healing, but I have struggled so much with it. So, I haven’t ever given up on the idea of using meditation, and I thought I would try yours just to see how it went. Anyway, I’ve now been using your meditation every day for the past 10 days and I love it. Finally, it’s something I can actually sit through, and I can feel things shifting. I’m so grateful.”

Katie D

Bonjour Niki,

Thanks again for the opportunity to tap in to the field of self worth and inner peace through your meditation sessions. I’m beginning to understand the word ‘serenity’ now. Bless you.

Neil W

Thank you Niki and team for these most gracious and wondrous gifts. These offerings are invaluable.Continue the wonderful healing work that you do. Namaste.

Celia S

Excellent, I love- love- love this meditation!!!

Thank you so much – Dee

A WORLD of sincere heartfelt thanks! I LOVE your Self-Love meditation. Your gifts here are very special and truly appreciated MORE than you will ever know! I’ve already experienced a lot of benefit from it.  BLESSINGS to you for the fine & exceptional work you are doing and contributing to the healing of the planet.

Tricia H

I love both of these so much!!!!

Thank you 

Donna P

Niki, I absolutely love you and your information and material you cover and especially I have found your speaking voice to be so helpful in my adapting to guided meditation Thank you so much for being you 

Rob H

Thank you so much Niki. They are fantastic meditations and I did not want to be without them, so double gratitude.  Kind wishes Veronica 

Hello Niki,

Thank you for the gifts of you meditations. I love them

Denise V

Beautifully done and served as a welcome release.

Amy S

Dear Niki,

Right now I am so full of gratitude for the beautiful words and perfectly gentle angelic music of your meditation. My body had quite a visceral response from deep within my physical self..and it was so healing. Tears gently flowed out and upward.  Instinctively I curled up with one hand on my shoulder and my other arm around my torso. Your gentle voice guided me to go very deep…lots of connections to this lifetime healed profoundly when my tiny child knew for certain I did nothing wrong.

More healing will come each day.

I AM eternally greatful!

Debbie K

I have had the opportunity now to do both of your meditations for the last few days! Thanks again for giving them to folks like me!! I sincerely found them to be the best that I have encountered thus far in my journey. Hope to work more with you at the next offering of your class.

All the best,

Michael T

Thank you for the meditations.

I listen for short intervals,  then pause in silence to absorb and reflect.

I like that the voice is quieter than the music.

David K

Very soothing. I feel better about myself.


Amazing meditation!

Gela R

This is a powerful meditation that deeply resonates with my state of being. It feels good to be re-connecting with my Soul / divine self. I can feel the healing power and will continue to listen Thank you.


These Meditations are wonderful thank you

Sophia A

Hi Niki,

This meditation is powerful, I often feel sadness and cry when I’m listening…

Thanks a lot

Patrizia V

The self love meditation already helped me! With Realising That I do have an active inner critic!!! I always said to my OHC practitioner, Gemma, that I can’t hear my inner critic so the STOP process is not relevant For me and always used EFT for emotions but now I can see that when I’m upset by people -(the words used or actions then get translated) and my inner critic uses this and keep upsetting me!  and no matter how much EFT I have done it hasn’t cleared in a year. Now I know why!!

THANK YOU for your meditation for this realisation!!

All the best,


Niki–I am so grateful for the valuable information and guided meditations you have gifted us.  Thank you, thank you.  Many blessings to you and all you hold dear.


You are the best!  So many thanks for the enormous contribution you have made to my life. I so appreciate your wisdom, your heart and soul, and your voice and guided  meditations that are the first that have ever resonated with me…..and I needed them dearly.  I will try to listen to the two you have offered here,  every day for several months.  Will you put new ones on your website as you create them?  I will keep checking…..

Thanks for your response.


Abbie C

Loved your meditations and am doing the self love one daily already this last week…it brought out a huge emotional release which let me know how powerful they are. Now I believe I am experiencing physical detox symptoms that you describe in your last video..??

Denise S


And thanks a lot for meditations. I’ve been into meditation for many years and your meditations really surprised me with their depth and effectiveness.

Thank you so much. And I’m really amazed how timely your info reached me.

warm regards,

Arifa J

thank you for being a beacon of hope for everyone who is searching for their second chance at optimal health and wellness.  I truly appreciate your passion and commitment. With gratitude,


I have been following your work for quite a while now and am learning so much

and am very moved indeed.

Michael T

A few months ago I downloaded the selfcare meditation, listen to it very evening for a month and half and stopped. After the second masterclass I start listening again. Just this week one morning I had the feeling , I am safe. I never before realize that I was always feeling unsafe, I like to keep people at an arm’s lenght distance.

Just this week I realize what was the underlying reason.

At age 14/15 there some inappropriate touching by some one close to me. I trusted him.

It changed my whole world and thinking.

You can’t imaging how wonderfull I feel. But thank very much., I have no idea how sound works but it helped me

Kindest regards

Irene T

I particularly appreciate the meditations,  as an old sound technician (“professional damage”) with sound quality control experience, that your voice is superb, the music beautiful, the brain entrainment beats great. Very best wishes and kind regards,


Your two meditations are amazing, I do both every day and I am putting everything I have learned so far into practice.  I watch all your webinars and take copious notes.  The info has helped me a lot and I very much look forward to learning more.  Thank you once again, your hard work and passion on behalf of helping others is very much appreciated.  The light in me sees the light in you.  


Thanks for this.  I feel safer stronger wiser lighter and more protected.

I found it very insightful and healing and look forward to listening to it again and again.


I cried hard throughout the second half of this meditation. Felt overwhelmed at how hard I’d pushed myself for 52 years. And how ill I’ve become. I hope I can continue to listen to this every day and hopefully learn to love myself.

Thanks Very much for this.


I am a yoga and meditation teacher and have a history of developmental trauma and recent events have amped up the fatigue, body aches and low mood. I did this meditation for the first time today and it was a beautiful, anchoring tool. Thank you. I felt refreshed and re-connected back to myself more than I have in a long time.


“I am nearly 80 and have been searching for the road home for many years.  This recording has brought me hope and touched me deeply. Thank you.“


“Good morning Nikki, Thank you for your self love download and for how to deal with Emotional detox, I have listened to self love 6 times and this morning it left me in tears and needing a hug (which are not allowed right now – covid).“


“Just wanted to say deep gratitude for self love meditation. Already helped me a lot.  Just coming out of horrendous terrifying episode of complex trauma due to deep abuse all my childhood from birth onwards in all ways.  Feel a difference after listening to it only twice.“


I slept so well after listening to this meditation before bed! You have such a lovely voice Niki


Really enjoyed this meditation and will listen every day.  Brought to mind past experiences which I think have affected my whole life and I am  now 68 and struggling with cfs/fibromyalgia……

Look forward to further information and help.


Just wanted to say deep gratitude for self love meditation. Already helped me a lot.  Just coming out of horrendous terrifying episode of complex trauma due to deep abuse all my childhood from birth onwards in all ways.  Feel a difference after listening to it only twice


Good morning Nikki, Thank you for your self love download and for how to deal with Emotional detox, I have listened to self love 6 times and this morning it left me in tears and needing a hug (which are not allowed right now -covid).

I love the meditation. It draws me to it effortlessly. Thank you Nikki. You are 


So, this is what I experienced:

Strong activation of my heart chakra – I feel a huge amount of pressure in the chakra area.  Then, I had this weird sensation of tingling that started in my toes and went right up through my body.  That was followed by really strong pains in my heart (like I was trying to release something) and then tears.  Woke up in the middle of the night with massive itching (always a sign for me of detoxification) and had to take 2 lots of liver supplements to take it down.  Was awake most of the night.  When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted and felt like I had been on the drink all night.  Needed coffee all morning just to keep me going.  And then it came to me what I had released…………….guilt and shame.  Clearly a lot of it!!

Jan C

I’ve started doing your meditations twice a day as you suggested….and yes the effects do seem cumulative even in that short time.

Came out in spots on my face yesterday (and I rarely get spots), their location of which appears to correlate with the detox organs on the facial reflexology map. Last night’s self-love meditation was super-powerful and activated first my heart chakra, then my throat chakra then my solar plexus and sacral chakras.  And then all I could taste was salt again.  Today, there is some stuck energy in my throat and chest – feels like something that I need to get off my chest.  On my run this morning, it was clear to me that I was releasing rejection fears.  That was the first day that I did them both.

At this rate, I should be fully healed by the end of the month, haha!

Jan C

I was doing the Field Grounding Meditation today, my mother popped in to speak (that’s a first).  I had to tell her to wait until I’d finished the meditation before I would speak to her.  Is that what it’s going to be like?

About 2 weeks before Christmas, my family and I were at a “St Nick Fun Run”.

This is where we as a community all gathered at a local school to run a race (No racing for me. I walked a short bit ;)!, and raise money for children who need tuition assistance for school.

While we were all standing around waiting for the “race” to begin, I was talking to several people. As I was listening to the conversation—- out of nowhere— I instantly felt connected to everything and everyone. It was as if people were talking, but I didn’t hear all the details of their words. I just felt great LOVE for everyone and everything- and that we were all connected. I felt compelled to pray over everyone there and send out blessings.  All my senses were heightened as I felt a high vibration of sorts, and time stood still in this very spiritual moment.

And then, after a few seconds, it was over. It was very quick. And then I was simply back to talking to everyone and meeting families and their children.

Maybe this is the “soul connection“ Niki talks about in her meditations?


Thank you so much for sending me this precious meditation link to me. I did my meditation today with your calming and gentle and truly loved it. It came on a day, I felt sad when I woke up as it was raining and gloomy, and I had to put jacket again on after a nice long summer!

I love the variety of music you chose! I specially enjoyed very much when you were talking about gratitude and healing different parts of our body. I just couldn’t stop my tears coming down, don’t know why!!


I love the meditation!


Also after and during the field clearance meditation I had a dry cough like I had something to get out of me, at the same time felt pains in my abdomen like I needed to birth something or push something out of me. I don’t think it’s out yet, but it’s been loosened….


Thank you Niki 

I truly believe in what you are saying as last March, I felt an overwhelming amount of love flow through my body as I was Meditating and I felt I had let go of something and my Body is getting stronger as the days go by 

I now use your Guided Meditation everyday to further my Healing. I am grateful and indebted to you for your guided Meditation 


Very powerful meditation. I appreciate the extra 10 min of just music


Excellent, I love- love- love this meditation!!!

Thank you so much – Dee

I have been following your work for quite a while now and am learning so much

and am very moved indeed.

Michael T

“Really enjoyed this meditation and will listen every day.  Brought to mind past experiences which I think have affected my whole life and I am  now 68 and struggling with cfs/fibromyalgia……Look forward to further information and help..“


I have discovered that my whole life has been devoted to removing the blocks to the truth of mySelf.  Thank you for your good work and the meditation as it is supporting me, past, present, future through this time of uncertainty.  I am safe.  I am Beloved.  I am Blessed.  I am Whole.  May all beings realize likewise in this time of transcendence.


I just wish to say thank you to you Niki for so generously sharing your meditations to help people to grow out of their traumatic neural states.


Good morning Nikki, Thank you for your self love download and for how to deal with Emotional detox, I have listened to self love 6 times and this morning it left me in tears and needing a hug.

That was incredible. That was the very first time I felt deeply connected to my soul. I balled my eyes out, it was really powerful. Thank you


What a transcendent meditation. I just finished the meditation and cannot describe the peace that I feel. Every cell in my body felt alive. I have never experienced anything like this. I have been practicing Buddhism for over 10 years and never had an experience like this. My soul connected to every part of my being with this radiant white light. Thank you so much.


I was doing the Field Grounding Meditation today, my mother popped in to speak (that’s a first).  I had to tell her to wait until I’d finished the meditation before I would speak to her.  Is that what it’s going to be like?

I am loving getting in touch with so much depth in my body, mind & soul. This meditation was very deep for me. I feel very heavy (it’s late here in New Zealand) Looking forward to a cleansing sleep.

I can feel a dramatic shift already & I’ve only been working through the first level for three days.

Will be interesting where I end up

Julie S

I’ve been listening to one of your meditations the last few weeks, and have rather surprised myself at how I’ve been drawn to it! I only listened to maybe 30 seconds of it, but it made me feel very peculiar. It felt like it affected my heart rhythm, and I felt really quite unwell for a while afterwards, and had a rough night. I had the same reaction to one of the youtube healing music links when I tried that out recently, so I’m guessing it’s the same sound?

It’s clearly very powerful!! I just wonder if it’s too powerful for me right now? Or if there are certain frequencies that aren’t suited to some people? Or if I should try 30 seconds every now and then, when I can pluck up the courage?! What do you think?


I like all 3 of your meditations. They are powerfull their own way. I choose to do one of them nearly every day.

When I did the Field Clearance one the first few times I felt more pain was going through my body especially my legs. Now I feel that some of my stuck emotions started to release.

I have 2 horses and I sometimes like to just be around them. So I thought I could do the meditations in the field where they are.

I lie down in the field surrounded by trees, just me and my horses (Who are usually eating grass) and nobody else. After few times it seems that they join me in my meditating now. Standing close to me with their heads down looking relaxed.

Your meditations are very powerfull. What it does to my emotions and energy my horses can sense it. It would not surprise me if they were releasing some of their stuck emotions too

Thank you very much for all your work

Kind regards


Beautiful I feel like I’m smiling all over im in gratitude


J’adore la field clearance mé l’ai faite déjà plusieurs x, et cela m’avait fait bcp de bien.

Bon week-end.


Thank you so much for these meditations it’s very interesting I believe this can help a lot of people around the world I love it


 I am a clinical psychologist. I am trained in EFT and Matrix and work with a lot of clients with health conditions. As I mentioned I have been recommending the self love meditation to some of my clients who are open and who I feel might benefit I have had good feedback so far and feel like it helps us traverse the resistance of the conscious mind and gets them back into their bodies and emotions and helps our work together when they can do it regularly. On a strange aside here, I have been doing the self love myself each evening when i go to bed, mostly i fall asleep with it on. I am noticing more frustration, resentment and rage come up during the day which i am mindful of (and try not to intellectualise –my main defense mech). I also had a strange experience sunday morning when having a lie in but i just thought about popping in the field clearing meditation and then i got a strong vibration in my solar plexus, it was like i had a vibrator in there, it was so strong and it gave me a big shock. I took it as a good sign and i am really looking forward to receiving my sonic slider and crystal as i am excited to see what happens there when i do the sound therapy.

Michele S

Thank you. I love the meditation. I cried during the first time. Am feeling very nourished after listening.

Karen Mann

Thanks very much for this meditation, Nicki, it was excellent and very moving.

Linda L

Thank you so very much for this guided meditation.  I was actually in the middle of an AFIB bout and it stopped within the 30 minutes of the meditation.  You are a Godsend…..


I have listened to the Self-love Meditation for the last three nights and love the way it relaxes me and gets me ready for sleep (not to mention the psychological benefits)


Your email was perfectly on time…WOW! Dealing with emotional detox was magnificent. The meditations have been very healing. I have committed daily to get still and absorb the healing. I am very greatful for your guidance and support in this endeavor.  You are indeed a blessing in my life.


Debbie K

Physical Healing Stories

Wow! I wanted to start with a word to try to encapsulate all that has happened during the last 12 months of being part of Niki’s Ascension Group. Truth is, there isn’t a word, or set of words, that really do it justice. Life changing and transforming, rapid spiritual evolution, and healing on so many different levels. I’ve been ill with ME my entire adult life – some 23 years or so just after I qualified as a medical doctor. I was moderately severe until 6 years ago when I had a massive relapse that put me in the severe category, and this was from a place of doing everything right. Diet, supplements, pacing, meditating etc. In desperate need I reached out to Niki to see if she could help, already convinced there would be nothing she could do. Yet Source had “conspired” that Niki’s path with Source had begun so yes, Niki (and Source!) could and would help me. Mentally and physically I was in a very bad place, so bad that I had started the process of looking into how Dignitas could assist me. I had severe autonomic dysfunction that included severe gastroparesis, severe heavy metal toxicity, severe mycotoxin toxicity, multiple severe chronic infections and immune dysfunction, an oesophagus that kept closing off with Candida (you normally only get this with AIDS or in chemotherapy patients) along with huge emotional trauma in the form of Health PTSD from all that had happened to me Spiritually I felt dead inside, as the poet Dante put it; “in the middle of life’s great journey, I was lost in a deep dark forest, for I had lost the right path”. Little did I know I had just found the right path…

From the moment Niki and Source came to my aid I felt better straight away, not physically (that was to come), but emotionally and spiritually. All notion of even considering going to Dignitas immediately left my mind, never to return. I felt like I had “me” back, and couldn ‘t quite believe the difference in such a short time in a process I was initially skeptical of.

As the year of the Intensive Group went by things got better and better. It was hard work being so unwell and having to do meditations to release all the emotional trauma from my field and also the transgenerational trauma, and I learnt early on Source will only ever give you what you can deal with, most days I would only do 20 mins as that’s all my health would allow. Skillfully guided by Niki with her medical intuitive skills she carefully guided me to start to heal the physical side of my body. I have no more chronic infections, my oesophagus doesn’t close off with Candida anymore, gastroparesis is a thing of the past, no more idiopathic sinus tachycardia, no more mould or heavy metal toxicity. My body has healed so much. Am I fully well yet? No. As I was such a severe case it does take time for the body ans nervous system to heal (remyleinating nerves etc) and that is what we are currently working on. I have no doubt that I will regain full health from what I have experienced so far. My work with Niki has changed and saved my life. Is it an easy path – no. You need to be committed to the process and trust in Source that you will get there.  Niki’s work/program is a life changing, health healing process and I highly recommend working with Niki. 

Michael Jones

Functional Health Practitioner

I could write an entire book on my experience in the ascension portal under Niki’s expert guidance so if two words would suffice those words are phenomenal and gratitude. I have been ill with auto-immune disease since i was 3 years old and i will be 65 next month. In fact until I began to get well on this programme I had no idea what it felt like to be truly well. Every day my boundaries of wellness change and every day i think i have reached optimal health, then I achieve more the next day. 

Four and a half years ago I had a near death experience with mould induced pneumonia and mast cell activation. I was given 5 days to live. I didn’t want to live in honesty. My father’s health was declining rapidly at the time and he was my rock, the only person left who gave me unconditional love. I just wanted to wait for him in spirit but the universe had other ideas. I had a massive spiritual awakening at this point. I was very psychic as a child but had lost my connection due to certain life choices.  

I have been on Niki’s programme for twelve months. I resisted every part of it if im honest, told myself a hundred stories to justify the why. I had no idea what ascension was but i knew the body held the score and these emotions that were trapped in my energy field needed shifting. I also knew spiritually I was waking up to something bigger. 

I reached creator level 70 this week and I’m a totally different being. I have so far had spontaneous healing of severe periodontal disease of 43 years. My dentist was flabbergasted. I also learned I had agreed to clear 12 generations of female ancestral trauma in this lifetime but to do that would have put me in an asylum. So i also agreed with Source to experiencing birth trauma, sustaining lack of oxygen to the amygdala. This meant I couldn’t understand most of my emotions or the emotions of others. This too has spontaneously healed. I couldn’t look a person in the eyes because I am so empathic I could see their traumatised soul and that exhausted me too, so my body was indeed holding the score for me and everyone else.

This week I realised that my body was making ATP (energy)again. I had subconsciously over booked myself after 4 years of being afraid of taking on too much and getting sick again. I loved every minute. It was like old times only this time I wasn’t driving myself stupid to hide from the truth. I have learned so much about myself during this process that I mentioned to Niki I felt Id completed an MSc in emotional intelligence in 12 months, to which Source replied it’s a PhD!! 

I wake every morning in gratitude for this amazing journey of growth and development that has trumped any other therapy I have tried. I am eternally grateful to have my connection to Source back and I will not negate on time needed to harness and strengthen that. I am so grateful to Niki who had the foresight / insight to bring all of this learning into one package to truly change lives. 

If you are hesitating and my words resonate all I would say is that’s your chimp (doubting monkey mind!). Tell him lovingly you don’t need his help today and jump in with both feet. Inside this Portal you will find your true family. 

Anne Pemberton

Functional Health Practitioner, Registered Nurse




Niki has been a huge catalyst in my spiritual awakening. In September 2021, I joined Niki’s Ascension group. What an incredible and life changing journey has been so far! The spiritual path I embarked on has been pivotal on my healing journey. Physically it helped me heal my thyroid autoimmunity and leaky gut. I no longer have food sensitivities and can enjoy having the foods I had to avoid for more than ten years. Emotionally, I’m no longer in a constant fight or flight sympathetic nervous system. I have come to a new level of compassion, love, joy and serenity as never before. Spiritually, I have come to trust in the Divine Creator and have been experiencing profound shifts in self awareness and personal empowerment. 

Niki’s mastery at mentoring me on how to use divine pendulum testing and to develop my medical intuitive skills, have truly been remarkable and taken my functional health practice to the next level. As a result of going through Niki’s training on writing a “Vision Statement” , I started to become aware and very clear of my life’s purpose. Since then, so much has transformed for me personally and spiritually. For instance, I moved across the world to Dubai with my family a few months ago. I am more peaceful, empowered, and balanced. I I know wholeheartedly that every single decision I need to take is divinely guided and I’m always at the right place at the right time. 

Thanks to Source and Niki, I have a life beyond my wildest dreams now. If you are looking for a miraculous and meaningful life as well (with some bumpy roads along the way, which is part of the journey), I highly recommend joining Niki’s Ascension portal and experience it for yourself. 

Niki, you have given me invaluable gifts that will carry me through life. I’m forever grateful to you!! 

Nira ter Veld

Functional Health Coach and Medical Intuitive

Hi Niki, I have been a member of this portal since the very beginning. I still suffer from a lot of issues but my Bronchiectasis has cleared up immensely since I started doing all these meditations.

My healing since joining you September 2020 has been a miracle

I have been waiting to see if this change is real or not – I believe the arthritis in my feet is healing. In the past I have experienced lots of pain in my neck, lower back, shoulders, hands, right thumb, hips, knee and most excruciatingly in my feet. My feet will ache, they will burn and there was considerable swelling in the joints on the tops of my feet. Some days, I was almost crippled. Niki told me a couple of years ago that energetically the arthritis has healed and as we know the physical body takes time to catch up. About 3 weeks ago I had a particularly difficult bout of pain and then the next day, it was gone. I have had twinges of pain since then but nothing near to what it was. It is my hope that it is clearing out. And now that I think of it, the pain in my thumb has subsided as well.


I have some good health news to share. I have been able to reduce the strength of my thyroxine medication; one of the medications I take for a thyroid disorder. With my endocrinologists approval, I am now taking 50% less than I was 6 months ago. Down to 50mcg daily now.  I still need to take T3 alongside it, due to a DIO1 and 2 gene mutation from both parents, but this reduction of Thyroxine means my body is starting to function better and I’m turning a corner with this particular health condition. Because the debilitating fatigue from hypo and hyper thyroid can feel so similar, it’s wise to get tested regularly and self monitor in case you start needing less thyroxine. This change coincides with clearing my Karma, cPTSD, completing commands/healing emotions in April.  I have used private home test kits plus a free doctor test to get confirmation of needing to alter my dosage. I’ve only been taking 50mcg for 12 days but already my energy is improving and for the hundreth time I’m feeling so grateful to my wonderful open-minded Endo, who doesn’t bat an eye lid if I mention gene mutations, ingredient sensitivities in various brands or some of the less well known thyroid symptoms. Thank you Source for this healing and bringing this supportive practitioner into my life many years ago.


I’m on my way to healing,,,another healing miracle…This week I returned to my retina specialist after the month before when I was surprised that my left eye was bleeding creating wet macular degeneration. “Who’ He asked me that question for the 3rd time…”I’m from another planet” I said and am a spiritual being to which his candidly said, “I believe you!” Because not only has your eye stopped bleeding it also reverted to dry Macular Degeneration! And your right eye is improving as well. What was I pretending not to see? With Source, forgiveness, upping my vibes daily, self-love, worthiness and patience I’m on my way to full recovery.  Thank you ALL we are ONE In deepest gratitude! 


P.S. By the way, I am now down 19.3 kg!! Friggen MIRACLE!!  I had to find my own way to do it though, the counting calories was making me food obsessed and miserable.  But I would absolutely not have been able to loose this much weight if it weren’t for this Ascension work!!  Thank you so much for being our Ascension guide and making this work available to all of us!!  I couldn’t even start a diet 3 months ago, I was that fatigued of “dieting”!  Now I’ve almost lost 20kg!! TWENTY KG!!!


Since joining the pre-portal in 2020, I’ve experienced significant improvements in my lifelong sleep disruptions, and 10+ years of cortisol receptor issues have (almost?) healed, which feels like a miracle given how helpless they made me feel for so long. Learning about the 5 types of trauma; “past life bleed-through;” seals tags headbands, implants and breeding programs; dimensions and ETs; the 4 beliefs about Source; and the various types of beliefs and forms of resistance etc. has also widened my perspective so much — and helped me make sense of some core life experiences in meaningful new ways — that it’s actually difficult now to recall how it felt to not know about them. Thank you for your time, energy and wisdom — and the continual, mind-boggling effort you put into creating this portal and answering everyone’s questions. A sincere heartfelt thank you Niki, and to all your team, for the wonderful and tireless work you all do.


I am still working through some physical stuff: mycotoxins and glyphosate in my body but feel like I turned a positive corner a week ago, initially first with  being able me to fully breathe properly, the first time post getting covid which was amazing. More remarkably is so many of my symptoms are abating – energy is returning and I feel like I am “back in my body”, I also am not experiencing post exercise malaise which is new to me as I have been crashing energetically a lot when I have tried to re start exercise (I have a mild form of CFS/ME). Curiously relationships are also improving, both at work and in my family of origin. Esp. in my family it seems like things that were never spoken about, are now starting to be spoken about, and my sister is now open to receive and hear what I say, which is a revelation. I have also bought a Therasage sauna as I believe heavy metals are also a load that needs removing from my body (was in my original E Detox report).  Thanks.


As we hit the end of the year, I’ve been reflecting on healing over the past 12 months. For me this has been a gradual shift. I haven’t really experienced quantum leaps, but I do feel different. I no longer identify as having CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). People around me have noticed improvement there. Mostly, I just feel different emotionally. Less reactive and more peaceful and placid. Again, there are times when stuff is clearing through and I’m aware of the impact of that…recently, a lot of depression, for example. But it is shifting. I have a slightly weird symptom change that I can document more firmly. And apologies, this is a bit icky… For the past 8 years or so, I’ve had a sebaceous cyst on my lower back. I haven’t been able to see it, just feel the lump as it has grown. My doctor tried removing it, but it came back. I’ve had a couple of other treatments on it, which temporarily reduced the lump, before it returned. So, I just ignored it…it’s not “dangerous” in any way and I was only aware of it if I ran my hand over my back. Anyway, about 4 weeks ago, I’d just done a yoga class with Doris, and I experienced some discomfort in my spinal area around my lower back (not unusual for me – part of my spine curvature is in that area). This was fairly close to the site of the cyst. I decided to have an Epsom Salts bath and, as I was getting out of the bath, the cyst just fell off…literally! That was it, gone! And it hasn’t come back. It feels like it was a symptom of something I was holding in my energy field, that has now cleared out…at least, that’s how I see it. So, not ground-breaking like regaining eyesight or some of the other miracles that have been shared in here. But a positive shift nonetheless. I’m grateful and excited to see what else will shift in 2024! Thank you Niki and the coaching team for all your amazing support and guidance these past 12 months. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!


As I reflect on the last year, so many blessing have arisen with my ascension work.  I went to my doctor for bloodwork and a complete physical.  My doctor said what are you doing?  I told him some of the things, along with lots of meditation.  He said, “Whatever you are doing, keep it up.  I have no concerns with you.”  As I review my bloodwork, the hypothyroidism I had is no longer an issue, I no longer have osteoporosis and have been off any bone support supplements for many, many months now.  I still have some pain in one hip and a little tenderness in low back, but compared to what it used to be, I am so grateful for the changes.  I feel some of this is related to relationships in my life.  I asked Source to magnify what I need to work on and, or course, I went through a bit of a turbulent time two days after the Relationships Healing Ceremony. I also have been able to set much stronger boundaries around my son, which were greatly needed.  I am also feeling some relationships are organically just falling away by both parties.  Since being in the divine pendulum testing group from the beginning, I am now seeing my accuracy improve.  Last week after the testing, I retested a few questions once off the call and changed one answer and got 100%.  I feel unbelievably appreciative for the coaching from Niki, the guidance from Annie, and to learn from what we are testing.  I have noticed myself gaining more accuracy, and at the same time not so invested in my accuracy as I have noticed that my accuracy will still be up and down, especially when my mood is a little low, but my communication with Source is always growing and I am using my pendulum to also grow my relationship with Source.  When I have a thought and ask Source about it personally, I sometimes get an electrifying experience through my whole body.  Forever grateful to the friendships in this group, and on to 2024 with more growth, clarity and discernment.  Happy holidays everyone with  love, light, and well-being to you all.


When I asked my chiropractor if she thought my left foot would ever regain complete feeling from the two pinched nerves and lumbar vertebrae hyper-mobility, she said, “Normally I’d say ‘No’ but rules don’t seem to apply to you. When we first started, I never thought you’d even get this far!”  On another occasion she had also said, “Wow – look at you walking upright just like a regular person!” To date I have now regained about 90% of the feeling and strength in my left foot, the hyper-mobility in my lumbar spine has stabilized, and am mostly able to walk like a “regular person” again…all this along with so many other positive life changes and awareness! Truly blessed


I discovered the Portal July 21 at the very moment I was diagnosed with a rare stage 3 cancerous growth in the crook of my collarbones.. Drastic surgery removed part of my sternum, clavicles my (healthy) thyroid and parathyroids. I could only whisper my commands for 10 minutes at a time for months. However I fully recovered, without chemo or radiation and am healthy. The surgery and joining the Portal were a life changing time: I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in my life, I feel I live in the present moment, have let go of drama and over empathizing, I’ve stepped away from a couple of narcissistic friendships, I feel like I’ve let go of my traumatic childhood.. My relationship with my husband has improved (47 years married).


Got off all sleep meds I have been on for 30 years. Happy to share that I have gotten off all sleeping meds after taking them for 30 years. Woo hoo, yea  Ascension and yea Quantum Healing. I tried a  year ago and then a few months ago as I figured Andrew got of meds so maybe I could as well. It did not work at all. I so wish doctors would learn this instead of putting people on sleeping meds. What a concept to be able to fall asleep before 3 am..


You asked me to explain more about my amazing appointment to my Retina doctor. We moved in June 2023 and I had to select a new retina doctor from our group in my new location. My vision has changed twice for the better since January 2023. Recently I have been using old sun glasses from 10 years ago.  Normally it is required to receive an injection as needed every 4 to 6 weeks. I have not had any injections since October 2022. He welcomed me and exclaimed “Who are you?” And I chuckled and asked Why? He answered that in 34 years in practice he has never had anyone reverse their Macular Degeneration.  I see him again on December 13. I tell everyone on the zoom and morning meditation groups -lots of positivity-be patient-let go-and raise your vibration -not necessarily in that order!


I love participating in the 2 hour meditations that Annie started, with us, since October, 2022. It has been life changing, especially now. There’s been more peace and acceptance of the process, than ever before, because of the meditations!  I’m being the real me! I was diagnosed with MS eight years ago. I take no medication and no supplements since being in the Portal from 2/23/2021. My only symptoms are of leg muscle fatigue when getting physical (such as walking 15-20 minutes, mowing the grass for 15-20 minutes). Thank you for showing us what Love, Light, and Truth is all about. Your dedication to all of us is priceless


I have been waiting to see if this change is real or not – I believe the arthritis in my feet is healing. In the past I have experienced lots of pain in my neck, lower back, shoulders, hands, right thumb, hips, knee and most excruciatingly in my feet. My feet will ache, they will burn and there was considerable swelling in the joints on the tops of my feet. Some days, I was almost crippled. Niki told me a couple of years ago that energetically the arthritis has healed and as we know the physical body takes time to catch up. About 3 weeks ago I had a particularly difficult bout of pain and then the next day, it was gone. I have had twinges of pain since then but nothing near to what it was. It is my hope that it is clearing out. And now that I think of it, the pain in my thumb has subsided as well.


While my rheumatoid arthritis is well controlled on big immune suppression, i keep hoping to get off it.  i had an appt just a few weeks ago where my Dr announced, as she finished the ‘joint count’ (the assessment of involved joints) that i had ZERO.  She said she has never had this happen before in her practice, and while i am still fully Bcell suppressed so time will tell where i really am, i am opening the door on the fact that THIS IS REAL. I won’t pretend every day is perfect but its a fact I’m not living in the same world as previous.  While some of the above could be considered lucky or cosmic alignment or whatever, the miracle baby is just that, a true miracle. Thanks for reading. Wishing you all a miracle of your own, it’s real, it will happen.


I enrolled in and faithfully followed your recommendations, and cleared up about 80% of my physical symptoms. I joined your healing circles from the very beginning, and then the portal in July 2021, and I am happy to report that my anxiety has mostly cleared up, which is huge for me, since I had been anxious my whole life to a varying degree, and more recently anxiety had literally been ruining my life. I have also made significant (in fact, truly amazing!) progress in recovering from childhood trauma: I am now much more confident, my boundaries have improved considerably, and I have a much better sense of who I am and what I want to do with my life than ever before. Due to my new confidence and calm focus, even my career is picking up, against all the odds (I’m in a generally unforgiving profession). However, I’m also sad, since I now realize that I chose my demanding career to please my abusive, impossible mother, and I’m now much aware of lost opportunities, especially as I have found in the meantime my main passion in life which is very different from my profession, and I can now see that all my major life choices were driven by subconscious impulses due to my trauma, which led to my particular career path and also to not having had children – but I am emerging on the other side of grieving my lost “dream life” with a much better sense of self, more authenticity and optimism for the future than I ever thought were possible, and I’m able to, for the first time in my life, experience self-compassion, self-respect and even self-love! Although still dealing with occasional procrastination and scary thoughts about my health, I now have increasing clarity about what is good for me and how to take care of myself, concepts that were foreign to me well into my forties…


I’ve been in this portal since Nikii started it. In didn’t  truly understand anything she was talking about except getting better and healing. I am 66 years old with many different things wrong with me. One of my latest problems has been Bronchiectasis. For a few years I have been seeing a pulmonologist for it. After I took my latest CT scan he was totally surprised. My doctor was absolutely shocked how good my scan was. I am almost cured of bronchiectasis. The radiologist who read the CT scan wanted to know which I pill or prescription did the doctor give me to get better. I told the doctor with a smile that I meditate every day to healing meditations. He was so happy at seeing these results. The doctor told me he’s never seen anything like this. I just hope this Bronchiectasis is gone for good.


I work as a Biokinesiologist and see clients weekly in the last six months or so I have been drawn to do healing work on some clients using my hands and divine muscle testing along with pendulum testing. Out of the blue clients are coming to me for this healing through word of mouth.  When I meditate my hands get really hot and I have been shown images of my hands.


I finally feel I have inner alignment with my losing all my excess weight! The war is finally over!! The war that has raged for decades inside of me, has finally come to a surprise ending with the last remaining strong holds for the “fat supremacy” surrendering their hold over my mind and body.  Yielding to one last kinesiology treatment, the resistance finally put their knives and forks down! I really do feel like I have been at war with myself for many decades about my weight issues and I was always on the losing side.  After trying every diet under the sun, I realised that I needed to heal the psychological issues that were driving my weight gain & making me want to be fat.  I tried many different therapists, & many modalities, to no avail. Year after year, I just got bigger and bigger and bigger.

Then Niki said that I don’t need to do any special diet, just count calories Even though I am so fatigued by dieting, & the thought of going on another diet just makes me want to die.  Counting calories, I couldn’t think of anything worse, & having to do it for so long.  Kill me now!  It’s too hard!  It never works!! I hate dieting!!  Yummy foods are the highlights of my day and the only thing that really gets me though.  They are my reward!  My comfort, my relaxation.  I can’t give them up!! 

So anyway, in a last-ditch effort to help with my weight on the weekend before starting diet 11 million and one, I do another kinesiology balance on myself.   Two days later I started my diet, and I was surprised, that I thought counting calories wasn’t such a bad idea after all, as it gives me a lot of freedom with what I can eat.  I was also surprised to not be feeling dread, to instead be feeling confident and like “you’ve got this, you can do this, it’s not that hard”.  You don’t have to starve yourself or go on a water fast, you can still eat yummy foods, just different yummy foods.  I was amazed by how I was feeling.  I think I’ve done it!! I think this is what 100% alignment with losing my excess weight and being slim feels like!!  OMG!!  I had all these feelings of joy and excitement come over me!!  Then I had the thought pop into my head, “it’s a gift!”.  And I knew that it was a gift from source!   I am so thrilled and beyond grateful to Source for this gift. And to Niki as well for creating the Ascension Portal and being a fabulous Ascension teacher, I wouldn’t have gotten to this point without you!  


I have been in the portal since the beginning I work as a Biokinesiologist and see clients weekly in the last six months or so I have been drawn to do healing work on some clients using my hands and divine muscle testing along with pendulum testing. Out of the blue clients are coming to me for this healing through word of mouth.  When I meditate my hands get really hot and I have been shown images of my hands.  Physically I am very well now, happy and feel I am on the right path in my life. My psychic abilities are opening up mainly in the feeling, knowing realm I have heard voices on occasion especially in the beginning when my source team said hello and made some funny comments that no one else would have known about me – they asked me ” why do you like the Stage so much Carol ”   I have always been drawn to theatre, music and dance even though I have not trained in this area.  Maybe it is a past life thing.  I work with the angels and they are regularly sending signs to me which is lovely I do feel connected. Thank you for the supreme effort you put into this portal I really appreciate it.  Also I think you are looking younger recently which is fantastic to witness.


I’m grateful and delighted to report that one of my chronic conditions, going back many years, has been healed! Collagenous colitis, which started 21 years ago, is completely healed, along with all the troublesome side effects and symptoms. I hesitated to share this because I thought maybe it was a fluke and the condition would start up again, but it’s been 6 weeks and I am over it! I’m sure the ascension work, the integration of DNA, daily meditations have created this miracle. I am profoundly grateful. Thank you, Niki, and all in the Portal, for this important work and support. Source blesses us all!


Since Saturday, I’ve felt so calm and peaceful. And I have been feeling more supported by my source team. I’ve had several messages from them. Messages ranging from suggestions for coping with other people to where to eat dinner. Plus they have sent me songs and other signs. I feel their presence nearby constantly. I feel so loved, and protected. I mentioned that I was on several MS medications over the years. Each one progressively stronger, trying to slow the progression of the disease. What i failed to mention is that I have been off all medications for MS for over 1 1/2 years. I’ve had no relapses in that time which is quite astonishing. Recently, I’ve had a lot of stress with family situations. Enough stress that normally would have brought on a relapse. But, not now. On Sunday, during meditation, my 7 year old self came to visit. We had the best time. She showed me the animals on the farm. We went to the grade school. We played on the swings. We played jump rope with the other kids. They were kind to us and included us. This is the first time i have been in contact with my child self. I hugged her and gave her lots of love. She is now present in my heart, permanently.


have just been for a contact lens check up. I’ve been aware for a while that my eyesight with my lenses and glasses has been deteriorating. However, what has happened is my right eye has improved by 3 points and my left eye by 2 points. The optician was obviously flabbergasted. He says this doesn’t really happen. And has no idea why it has for me. But we know don’t we!


A few days after that I woke up with a feeling of enormous joy (this is soooo not my default state atm!) and a feeling of what I think is ‘completion’- like I’d gotten something huge off my plate and the relief of that, and then this incredible lightness of being. I think that was completing with the 12th, it felt like it to me anyway. And, I wasn’t going to post about this yet because I haven’t done enough “experimentation” to be rock-solid sure, but I’m thinking this is proof of integration with the 12th so I’m just gonna say it without fearing too much it will turn out not to be true… I’m pretty sure I’m able to tolerate alcohol again after 20 years of getting horribly sick after the tiniest amount. On two separate occasions recently I’ve had a whole shot of vodka and in the past that would have led to an immediate “hangover”- skip the being drunk phase just the most awful blinding headache, nausea, gut issues within minutes of the first sip. Alcohol was not a pleasure in the least! Recently I got what I guess was a nudge from my Source team and was pleasantly tipsy without any of that, and with minimal hangover the next day. This is the first real sense I’ve had of any physical healing and I feel it correlates with completing with the 12th so hope its appropriate to share here. I’m so happy to be here in the portal now! It’s been such a rough journey- so much detox on so many levels and a fair dose of cognitive dissonance along the way, but I feel like lately I’m beginning to see signs that its working… After 20 years of being ill- hoping, giving up hope, aching to hope again… Are we really going to heal and soon?? I can’t wait to hear about others’ progress too…


All I can say is that this miracle was totally driven (or should I say ridden) by Source. I have not got on my bike now for a good couple of years, and even then it was only a ‘one off’. I used to love going on it pre 2020, and through the summer I would cycle several times a week. I have not wanted to get on it at all and more recently with all the pain I have had and also Carpal Tunnel in both hands, I was even considering selling my bike. Today, my partner said he was going out on a bike ride and I found myself saying ‘I’ll come’. I had no idea how it would go, but I wanted to try. I was a bit wobbly at first and my arms and hands were not brilliant but I managed. We cycled six miles and it was such an achievement and indeed a miracle


Context: In 2008, i was off work for 3 months, on my back, with a slipped disc/bulge & left leg sciatica. Fast forward: Last Friday, i had an Osteo appt. and began to tell my Osteo what occurred for 3 days during a week of July 23. I woke up on the first morning and i could barely move, the pain in my lower back was unreal; and it was like a flashback to 15 yrs ago(note: the day b/f i had a calm, ordinary relaxing day…so no weird work- outs, over doing it, nothing).My mind immediately reacted ” omg, its happening again” Then ,i heard in my head ” Allow the Process” and ” Its Temporary”. I knew right then (not sure if Source or my Source Team sent the download), but i knew it was a Double Download Whamy!! I relaxed, took a breath & said to myself… it will be ok, its part of what i need to heal & release. On the 4th morning, when i woke up ,all the pain was gone, like nothing ever happened. After hearing this story, my Osteo began her usual pre-test check on my spine/back muscles; she was very surprised and expected more restrictions & tightness, but to her surprise there was more movement, flow & less ‘resistance’ …no kidding she actually said ‘less resistance’. Wowza, when i heard that, my thoughts immediately jumped to our HCs ,Niki’s insights & guidance, our meditations & removing/clearing our resistances. This entire experience was a pivotal, huge & glaring reveal for me, esp. that inner understanding/knowing now of ” Allow the Process”. As we/i navigate through ascension (with Niki’s guidance), i see now that i HAD to go through this again to release some pretty deep stuff. What A Divine Gift From Source


A little update that I shared in last week’s zoom call which I hope is encouraging, especially for those of you who are struggling. I’ve had some physical improvements. I was a little reluctant to stop taking supplements when Niki shared we no longer needed them, particularly vitamin D as it is so important for immune function (my immune function is less than optimal). I did stop taking it, I am pleased to say that I had my vitamin D levels checked and am doing great! With an optimal reference range of 75-200 nmol/L, mine is 146! I also had my annual eye exam. My eye doctor told me that I had 20/20 vision with my glasses on for the first time ever! What?!!! Not only that, when I was 16, I was moving a car jack in the back of my hatchback and had secured the hatchback with a bungee cord; without realizing it, I somehow released the bungee cord and it sprung back quickly into my left eye before I had any chance to react. I ended up having to be in the hospital for 5 days on my back with my eyes covered (to prevent retina detachment), not even allowed to get up to use the toilet, shower or eat. My vision recovered, but several years later I noticed while doing microscope work that when setting up the microscope I saw different colours with each of my eyes. I don’t do microscope work anymore and if I look through one eye only, I still see different colours, but the area in my eye that was damaged from the accident has almost completely disappeared/healed!!! What?!!! My eye doctor asked what I was doing differently and I simply replied some spiritual work. He said to keep doing whatever that was because it’s working!!  Don’t I know it! I’ll be curious to see what else has changed when I have my next annual eye exam.  We are healing even when it seems like nothing is happening. Yay! 


I’ve been actively participating in the portal since July 2021 and have noticed a steady increase in my wellbeing – physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. I joined the portal to heal from Rheumatoid Arthritis (diagnosed by traditional GP) and Lyme’s, as the opening for RA, diagnosed by The Sophia Institute, following Dr. Klinghardt’s methodology, although I didn’t work with him directly.  I am currently meditating with portal meditations an hour a day, sleeping 9 hours, most nights, eating well and doing small amounts of exercise (my weakest part of healing).  After loosing almost 50 pounds, I’m back to my normal weight of 120 – used to weigh 99 pounds and am 5 ft, 8inches. My pain used to be at 7 & 8 and is now at 2 & 3 and my energy levels used to be 2 & 3s and are now mostly at 8. YAY!! Lots to celebrate


Since finding you in autumn 2019, I’ve had some impressive physical healing (tinnitus and digestive) and unexpected emotional healing as I can now accept the inadequacies of my blood family and interact with them, in a measured way, without getting triggered. An amazing result which I wholeheartedly put down to being a member of this portal. Thank you 


I had an amazing thing happen but I don’t know if I can really convey how profound it was. A few days ago I was making a tea in the evening and I thought ‘I can’t wait for tomorrow.’ And the feeling was just a pure exuberance for the idea of waking up and living a day. I had nothing special planed. In fact, I have CFS so my days consists of a dog walk and lots of time in bed and can get quite samey.  My life hasn’t been dull or boring by a long stretch but, due to battling with one thing or another along with CFS for a long time, I don’t think I’ve been excited to live for at least 15 years, possibly never quite to the degree I felt it at that point. I’ve been excited because I’ve got an event happening, or excited because I didn’t have to go work the next day and I could lie in bed (probably more relieved) but this was just pure joy at the idea of being able to get up and carry on experiencing being. It felt wonderful. I haven’t felt it since and am still having ups and downs as I work through the layers. But I’ve definitely noticed more energy lately, more joy in my projects, less reactivity to other people or when things don’t go my way and being happier overall. I have this feeling though that perhaps this was a sneak preview of what it will feel like at some point all the time. Just loving being alive. I can’t wait!!


Hi everyone. I just wanted to post an update. I had my gratitude and beliefs session with Christine last month, which was great and she confirmed I was a one laner, but I’m not now. I’m activated to 14th and integrated to 13th. I’ve been sick for about 15 years starting very mildly and very slowly progressing. I hit my worst about 3 years ago and I would spend up to 4 hours a day completely paralysed, unable to speak or move at all and in constant incredible pain. I would have to crawl on my hands and knees, when I could, to get to the bathroom because I couldn’t stand up. Of course this would go up and down, sometimes I was better. Now these things are totally in the past. Any pain I get is mild and transient, most of the time I have no pain. I don’t need sleep during the day mostly now. I am even starting to think about how I can work towards earning an income again- slowly and not straight away, but the thoughts are there. I realise my CFS was not as severe as some peoples here, some have much more complex illness and more challenging personal histories than myself. Still, I find it incredible to have come such a long way in a relatively short time. A testament to the work we are doing, I’m sure. Incredibly grateful to Niki and everyone for being on this journey together.


Hello everyone, over several weeks I’ve noticed that I’ve been having a physical shift. At first I was reluctant to share as perhaps it was simply a passing thing. But nope! I have been doing intentions with and shared that I’ve been on glucocorticosteroids since 1981, varying levels, and one negative side effect is that I have sloppy joints, most notably in my neck and spine. I am currently weaning off of them (a slow, somewhat painful process), but am down to 1.6 mg/day (without secondary negative consequences like I experienced before when weaning off), a huge accomplishment. Also, it’s interesting that the spine supports our bodies so the connection of spinal malalignment is not lost on me in the lack of external support I’ve experienced, but more importantly my own lack of support for myself!  Anyway, I have been having weekly manipulations to have my neck and spine realigned for so long I cannot recall when I haven’t had them. Last week I didn’t need an adjustment, only some stretching. What?!!! AND, my neck is still moving freely.
All of my hard work, the investment of time and commitment to the ascension process is paying off. I honestly wondered if I’d ever see these sorts of improvements and now I am. As Jeff Deppe always reminds us to “not leave before your miracle happens”, this truly is a significant, tangible, miracle for me. It’s all happening (of course it has been all along but in ways I haven’t been able to see or notice)!  So, I thank you Niki and all of you for being on this journey with me. I’m looking forward to more shifts and sharing about them. Lots of love 


I have been a member of your portal since September 2021 and have seen incredible results since. I realize there may be people that are still having trouble, but I want to let you know, I have healed many persistent health issues (CFS, long C, edema, low immunity/Lyme, etc.) since joining the portal. I wanted to touch briefly on the Akashic Records. I have worked in the Records since I was a little girl. My grandmother (who couldn’t read or write) could access the Records in her dreams and was a well-known psychic in my country (Albania). She taught me how to access the records in a sleep state and I have done so for all decisions big and small in my life. Through Linda Howe I learned to access the records in the awake state and have worked almost daily in them since 2017 (for myself and family/friends – I have a corporate day job :). Joining your portal put the Records work on steroids. Awareness of the dark and the way it interferes with human life has helped me uncover and clear so much sabotage and illness that have persisted for many lifetimes, and not just for me, but humanity as a whole. I am so happy you are addressing the Records in your Saturday ceremonies. I want to thank you for the amazing work you’re doing and the incredible soul growth that you are facilitating for me, and I am sure countless others. 


Here’s a few little things I’ve seen: This week I got my eyes checked and my vision has improved significantly in both eyes.  Also, a few weeks ago I had a weird issue of a blob of overgrown tissue in my eye and the doctor said that she only usually sees this in young people (I’m almost 58), and that it was from a very robust immune system. I also went for acupuncture a month or two ago for a physical issue. In the past, I used to get a lot of acupuncture and my pulses were always very faint and depleted. This time the acupuncturist told me that my pulses were above average strong and vibrant. I also notice that I’m much less stressed in general from when I first joined the Portal in July of last year and have notably less aches and pains too. I’m starting to trust more in the process rather than expecting the quick fix. At this point, my focus is to be engaged, dedicated and steadfast in the healing work, the limiting beliefs work, and the meditation work. and to keep learning and growing.  I can see that I’m on the edge of not only digesting the concept of the profound reality of the path that we are on, but I can actually catch a glimpse of the possibility of actually feeling excited about it.  That is a huge step for me. Thank you Niki. And thank you to everyone for all that you share in the forum and the weekly Zoom group.


I know that I told everyone before that my seasick has gone away since working with the Portal and Niki and all of you. But I just have to say it again, I have had motion sickness for over 50 years and it has stopped me doing things I want to do and now I feel nothing!!!! No sea sickness, no motion sickness ever and I have been testing it constantly!! There are so many more things that are healing in my body and in my soul as well, but this one is just so exciting to me!


I’ve been with the group since July 2021, and I have experienced lots of physical healing…. leaky gut, IBS, Improved liver function, sun sensitivity, eczema) all pretty much healed which in of itself is miraculous and I’m ever so grateful. 


 Positive thing number one…after my share last week (post on gaslighting), something shifted the following day, during meditation. I’m not sure what I released, but it must have been a pretty big blockage as I felt an uplift at the time, and I’m happy to report that hasn’t disappeared. It’s mostly on an emotional level…more ability to sense joy, less heaviness…and although it’s reasonably subtle, it is most definitely there…Positive thing number two…when I had my session with Nira, she predicted that I would start to feel some improvement about five weeks from then. Well, guess what? Last week was five weeks after the appointment…so big thank you to Nira for your wonderful gifts and support…and to anyone else reading this, who has had predictions of when healing may occur, I hope this brings you more faith, if you should need it! Positive thing number three…Last weekend, I went into London to the theatre for the second time since the whole pandemic thing. I should just mention that, prior to the pandemic kicking off, I was just starting to come out of a CFS/ME crash, so was beginning to go out socially, but still really struggling with that. So, in reality, for me, a trip into London has been a huge challenge since 2016. Well, last Saturday was an incredible improvement…I didn’t simply ‘survive’, I thrived. My Mum is my normal companion for theatre trips, and she has grown used to me crashing (through CFS/ME) and become ultra-sensitive to spotting signs of when my energy is starting to fail. She commented that she found the day was far more relaxing because she never once had to think about whether I was about to crash. So, she noticed the difference. From my perspective, I went out, enjoyed the day, came home, and it was as if I’d done nothing more than usual….which might not sound much, but it actually pretty mind-blowing…I can’t remember the last time that happened. Normally, I would feel some degree of tiredness, but no, I came home, enjoyed healing circle, and still had energy left when I went to bed…amazing! Positive thing number 4…being able to recognise what is happening to me and recognise my power to heal that.


Earlier this week, I went to get an eye exam and new glasses. I usually do this every two years. For a while now I’ve felt that my vision has gotten a bit better. Amazingly, that was confirmed with my eye exam! Compared to my results from two years ago, my nearsightedness improved by 0.25 in each of my eyes. This is AMAZING!! My astigmatism in my right eye is 0.50 worse than last time, but my left eye stayed the same. The placement of my astigmatism changed drastically, however it is now roughly in the same spot on both eyes (5 degree/point difference compared to the old 12 degree/point difference). It’s really cool to have tangible proof that my eyesight overall has gotten better, especially since my eyes have always gotten progressively worse since I was a little kid


I come from a background of strong inherited psychic spiritual faculty and capacity as my mother is Irish Gypsy (Pavees). My father was a doctor and ahead of his time giving me skills in muscle testing and radionics (among other things) from a very young age. I grew up on outback property in Australia with an active E.T presence, largely but not soley negative, that was “normal” to me.  I was educated in Medicine, Osteopathy and Kinesiology on top of my own innate ability’s and memories and being trauma and personal development informed. Despite said ability I was absolutely hammered. Inside and out, constant and ongoing life threatening “wars”. I joined the portal on the 2/11/21 on the recommendation of a patient. Below are some tangible personal experiences of mine hence. On the 11/11/21 in the space of 5 hours without prompting I settled my financial agreement from a separation that was due to go to court with a long, nasty, personally threatening trajectory that may not have given me any positive outcome at all.  In 2001, I had a compromised birth with my baby girl at the age of 24 and went on to contract an intracellular infection (think T.B) which caused ongoing pneumonia and encephalitis resulting in seizures, migraines and numerous stroke’s- I’ve been on restricted antibiotics both IV and oral for 8 years (which kept me alive and somewhat functional).  As of the last four months I’ve been antibiotic free and symptom free (largely). I think the above quantum changes in my life speak for themselves. With thanks,


Niki, I no longer even recall how I found your Healing Circle and the Ascension Portal just over a year ago, and I am so grateful that I did! After fracturing my left wrist in 2018, I broke both of my legs in March 2019, and my left femur still has not fully healed. Until spring of 2021, I had no energy at all until I began using red light therapy and joined your Healing Circle.  I immediately noticed a reduction of the constant pain in my left knee (the site of the most severe fracture).  That has slowly improved over the past year, and still is not fully healed, but my energy has increased dramatically during that time!  For that, I am particularly grateful! The biggest change I have noticed in me during the past year is a decrease in my (internal) emotional reactivity.  I now rarely feel any reactivity to things that might have been quite upsetting in the past, and when I do, it is usually only a slight ripple that dissipates quickly. Recently, I have noticed that my intuition with my clients has been especially keen and accurate, and one client spontaneously observed that I appear to be aging in reverse!  Others have told me how calm they feel in my presence. Several acutely suicidal new clients stopped feeling suicidal right away, and became much more functional within only a week or two. My monkey-mind during meditations has calmed down significantly, and the ½ hour meditations now seem quite a bit shorter. Blessings of gratitude for the work you do, Niki, and blessings of success to us all!


Hi Beautiful Ascension Family. I am skipping with excitement today because I have just returned from the opticians who informed me that I now have 20/20 vision!!!  I can now drive or read without glasses.  I have worn glasses full-time since I was 15, after I realised I was short-sighted when I wasn’t able to see the bus numbers. 20/20 – it is just amazing – can hardly believe it. I also felt a huge sense of euphoria after I had a clear out at home. I suddenly realised that I am no longer attached to all of my belongings! This seemed so big. I also realised that I have been keeping some things due to my ego – especially books.  All the books were there to boost my lack of self-worth – to show I was intelligent. I now realise it is wisdom I need.  As soon I removed the books I felt a rush of new energy, clear and exciting in the room and felt euphoric.  I still feel euphoric. Sending you all lots of love


A few recent shifts that help me see my progress (which has been steady but sometimes subtle enough that I don’t see it as it’s happening).~ I went for my yearly eye exam, and rather than the usual bump up in my prescription, the doctor bumped it down an entire diopter for each eye. She also said I had “the healthiest eyelids she’s seen all week.” (how’s that for a memorable compliment?!). I’d been looking for a tangible manifestation of physical healing since other physical symptoms persist — here it is! ~ In the last couple weeks, details of my childhood trauma were revealed to me — maybe through a story I heard on the Saturday Zoom call? Or through a post in the forum? Whatever / whoever the source, I was drawn to a couple really good books on the topic of children of covert narcissistic mothers that helped me to fill in some critical missing pieces. ~ The last 2 of Niki’s meditations (divine feminine and sound bowls) have allowed me for the first time in my life to drop into complete peace and relaxation. Profound and blissful! ~ During today’s (sound bowl) meditation, I was presented with a new visualization — I was suspended above the earth, with a long grounding cord going down to the center of the planet, and white light from Source entering my head, radiating outward from my body, and pushing the remaining lower-frequency energy out of my body through the grounding cord. I could see I was connected to all the portal members in a network spanning the globe, with the result that we are projecting our combined energies into the universe to signal a new era. Grateful for all your support! 


Last year I was very unwell physically with malnutrition and was on a liquid only diet. From scans my celiac artery is 50% compressed and I was diagnosed with Median arcuate ligament syndrome (2 cases in every 100,000 people) but commonly linked with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Surgery is the only treatment the medical world recognise – but im now back eating a pretty normal diet and loads better! And also all the problems with peristeen bowel irrigation – im so much better from that perspective too and my GI issues  My doctors are totally amazed  On Sunday 3rd July I am going to do the 20km Jurassic coast Challenge – this time last year I’d lost 22% body weight in 6 months and my doctors wanted to admit me for a nato-jejunal feeding tube … I am SO glad I didn’t go down that route. Much acension love,


All 6 different spinal diseases with which I have been diagnosed over the years have become a big nothing. I am pain free and can stand up straight. An old rotator cuff injury that has been an issue for over 40 years is starting to heal beautifully. The two pinched nerves in my low back are slowly resolving and feeling is starting to return to my left foot and calf muscle, which have been negatively affected. While in the process of going to sleep at night, I am aware of the sensations of being touched in various parts of my body and feeling a release come with it – physical tweaks to my system. While not really paying attention to anything in particular, memories of small interactions where my role was not particularly “Ascension worthy”, have come up with increasing frequency. This has allowed me to energetically ask the other person’s soul for forgiveness and to send them love. It feels resolved. This has also occurred in reverse where someone was less than kind to me and I have forgiven them and sent them love as well. By acknowledging and thanking Source for making me aware of these issues and immediately resolving them, they seem to be getting more frequent and specific! I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to make amends, and I feel lighter. I am curious whether the touch sensations are what is triggering these memories, as I know that such interactions do get trapped in our auric field. I do energy healing and have found that my conversations with clients are so exactly targeted to what they need to hear that it is starting to become uncanny. I have also found that the healings themselves are deeper and more profound. I have been much calmer and surrendered to what is. I find that my body sensations during the meditations are quite strong – alignment in the correct posture where my body connects heaven and earth lands in me with a profound awareness….something strongly energetic is occurring. There is a sense of groundedness while being very open to Source, and there is a distinct anchoring sensation in my body itself – what the energy healing school referred to as ‘being aligned in hara” – the dimension of intentionality  Overall i feel divinely guided and deeply grateful and am working toward losing all fear so i can continue to manifest many more positive things in the world.


1.  I’ve had chronic diarrhea for 10 years and would say I am 80% healed so far and have even gained weight back. 2.   I no longer have any food sensitivities and am enjoying food I haven’t eaten for years. 3.   I am 100% healed from hypoglycaemia. 4.   My sleep has finally improved from 2 – 3 hrs per night to 5 – 6 hrs on most nights. 5.    My sore/achy left shoulder blade is 100% healed. 6.   The ganglion cysts I had on the bottom of both feet are approximately 90% gone. 7.   The foot and leg cramps I used to have every night during sleep are 90% healed. 8.   The chronic itching on my back from my first Shingles episode in 1985 (the largest & most painful) is 100% gone. 9.   The crows feet around my eyes are definitely diminishing. 10.  I am finally able to relax during meditations.11.  I won a Samsung Crystal UHD color TV from my accountants office.  I had forgotten I’d filled out a ballot so it was a wonderful surprise. 12.  I lost a white gold earring (a favourite pair) at the theatre.  Didn’t notice it gone until I was undressing for bed.  My husband drove back to the theatre with flashlight in hand and asked to be let into theatre number 6, row E, seats 1 & 2 to search for it and two young boys who were sweeping the floor found it, didn’t know what it was and were about to throw it in the garbage.  How lucky was I to get it back 13.  My mom was admitted to a  Alzheimer Care Facility 50 miles away in December and last week she was finally offered a room at a facility here in Lethbridge so I no longer have to drive 2 hours a day to go visit her. 14.  My mom’s condo, which has been for sale for 3 months, has finally been sold. The last 4 times all happened within 10 days.   I feel very blessed to be a part of this Ascension Portal!  Thank you Niki.


Would it be helpful to share my experience as a portal member as well as a practitioner (chiropractor) who has worked on another portal member? My friend (also a chiropractor) and I meet regularly and have done for many years to exchange treatments.  We know each other’s spines very well.   What has been fascinating is to see how our bodies have responded to the portal work.  What is really cool is that our bodies are responding and behaving in new ways which we haven’t seen before.  It’s an upgrade! My understanding is that doing this ascension work is a bit like wearing a new pair of shoes.  As our merkabah is building and our energetic body changes, the physical body needs to accommodate those changes.  Sometimes that can feel a bit uncomfortable (like new shoes that need to mould themselves to our feet) while we get used to it. When my friend started the portal in February I was able to observe the clinical changes in her body.  And of course by that stage the silent meditation was more powerful and more integrated with the ?14th? dimension (can’t remember which) so it made for a smoother transition.  And faster ascension.  While I could tell her system was dealing with something new, there was a high level of organisation while processing that newness.  It was resourced, efficient, capable.  That level of organisation has got more sophisticated since then.  Her body is regularly demonstrating characteristics that I would usually only see when a person is feeling really fabulous (like after a two week holiday or a healing retreat).  This is big news, people!  As a chiropractor, I’m thrilled to see this.  I was taught this was possible but I’ve seldom witnessed this before. Despite this fabulously efficient and resourceful spine, sometimes my friend would be aware of discomfort or physical tension. So again, that describes the mismatch between how quickly or slowly the body can adapt to the changes in the energetic bodies that cause a sense of physical discomfort or symptoms.  Doing some kind of bodywork seems to assist with that transition and help to make those ’new shoes’ more comfortable.


I’ve had some notable improvements in the last little while that I thought I would share:

1. No longer have heartburn when I eat starchy or sugary foods.

2. A lifelong super sensitive blood sugar response seems to have disappeared – for my whole life I can’t eat simple carbs or sugar or fruit, or drink caffeinated tea etc., without eating protein with it or after it, otherwise I would have a massive blood sugar low within a few hours.  In the last 6 weeks, it doesn’t matter if I eat, or when I eat, or what I eat, I haven’t had any low blood sugar episodes!  Amazing!

3.  Allergy seems to have disappeared.  I have a lifelong serious allergy for which I carry an epipen.  On occasion I have ingested the substance by accident and it is very painful and scary.  This happened a couple of weekends ago, and as I was chewing my second one I suddenly thought “check this’ and I did, and it had the substance.  I had eaten 2 of them, which would normally be a problem for a slip like that.  NO symptoms.  No pain, no reactions.  

4. Sleeping has been marvelous. I used to have problems staying asleep, would wake up several times a night and not be able to get back to sleep.  I have slept for the last 3 weeks mostly all through the night, feeling rested when I wake up, and if I do wake up I easily fall back to sleep.  I’m grateful.

5. My personal emotional boundaries where my son is concerned have been A-1!  Instead of ruminating and worrying about what is happening with him and trying to insert myself to help him make decisions or think things through (he’s 21), or have big emotional responses to what he is doing I’m really ok with it!  I’m in support of him pursuing his dreams, I understand that its his life journey

6. My personal boundaries with my spouse have strengthened in a really good way – in a constructive way that is not conflict producing but actually harmony producing !  Its really amazing and wonderful how (seemingly) small a thing this change is, but in 2 weeks it has produced great results.  

7. My business boundaries/self worth have strengthened – I have my own business and I have the old “customer is always right’ philosophy, which sometimes make me feel pressured about trying to get work done faster (cheaper) than the actual scope should be.  Well again, in the last 3 weeks, I have heard myself calmly, friendly, nicely saying ‘no, its going to take (x) hours, and I can’t do it for less – I don’t work for free’  its just flowing and happening and it comes out and everyone is responding wonderfully.  

8.  An idea for a book that I have been wanting to develop and ‘gel’ that has been percolating but I could never get settled or inspired about suddenly just came together perfectly and with great detail and inspiration during 3 consecutive meditations over 2 days. 

All in all, I’m feeling pretty great, rested, happy, and hopeful (but not anxious or impatient) about some other healing (sinus’, loss of taste and smell returning). I’m so grateful and amazed at these things, and wanted to share my happy observations.


Hi everyone, I’ve had a 20 year history of intermittent hair loss and the last few years I’ve had several bald spots at my temples. I go through periods where patches of fine baby hair grow through but they never grow longer and eventually fall back out. Last spring my hairline started receding and the sides of my head became very thin. I’ve done restricted eating for over 30 years, thyroid and hormonal issues and after some testing in my early 30s I was told I had male pattern baldness which was such a cop out from the Consultant. I decided to take some photos in January just to see if anything changed over time. Overall, I noticed my hair started growing at lightening speed in February and the tails on my eyebrows were coming back and thickening up. Last September my nails snapped off and they would not grow again without splitting or ripping off. They were also growing like mad and not splitting the last few weeks so I decided to repeat the photos of my hair this week and well, I hope they speak for themselves. I’ve truly had to hold on to the smallest changes to keep me going, but these photos show the changes aren’t that small after all! I’m totally celebrating it as really strong foundational healing Such a long way to go but I’m so pleased I took those photos.


I do want to mention that I have been trying to get the MTHFR SNP symptoms, EBV and a benign thyroid nodule under control since 2014 by taking methylated Bs and high quality supplements and following a pretty strict diet.  I am pleased to report that I have been off of ALL supplements for the past two months while feeling great. I eat a steady diet of French fries (oven baked) and chocolate and still no need for supplements. My husband calls it the Mystic’s diet…. he might be right. I do eat plenty of other foods but not nearly as clean and healthy as I used to.  My body just doesn’t react poorly to food the way it used to. Where I was once dependent upon the supplements to give me energy and to feel good I feel free to eat whatever I’d like, still have energy with little to no downside and not having to double up on supplements or do a detox. Pretty damn remarkable! Wishing you all a beautiful break!!!


I am not a eloquent writer but will give a current overview. Miracles – The healing of my physical health that has been transformative, I have no food intolerances, my energy is vastly improved, my time in present moment and healing of developmental trauma.. Totally unrecognizable, I have given up smoking after 20 years, exited a narcissistic relationship that nearly sent me to my death have healed from this in a very short space of time, left my old job that I was in for 10 years that was contributing to poor health and got the job i wanted, attracted a secure relationship who is subscribed to similar multi dimensional beliefs, has had psychic experiences throughout his life and I intuitively feel is an ET soul… The flow and ease of my life noticeably easier and less work, angelic beings have visited and supported my journey numerous times me and source is communicating with me when I am open and willing to receive the information.  My life circumstances are increasingly clear. I found the portal after detoxing from substances as was 10 years in addiction and since come off my antidepressants my story is similar to many – I come from a long line of generational trauma was a runaway at 16 and was in the world alone to survive. I feel unafraid of the doubt but now wish it to let it serve me as growth, I find myself coming to the conclusion that my life circumstances and infinite possibilities can only really be achieved with my connection with Source…. The placebo is real, anything can become reality. 


Another amazing healing story – this time it is my 72-yr-old sister who has had challenges with her eyesight (both cataract and glaucoma surgery) and her hearing for the past few years. She moved into our jointly-owned house last July, changed her diet, already lost close to 50 lbs, and since August has been regularly listening in on our Sunday healing circles. Today at her eye specialist’s appointment, she was delighted to be told that the optic nerve is looking much better than her previous specialist’s report from several months ago, and things are on the upswing!  While her health still has a ways to go, we believe that these problems will be fully resolved because of this ascension school and because of this powerful healing circle. Thank you Niki, and everyone in our most amazing group!! This is beyond fabulous!


So here it goes, putting it out there: to date my eye sight has shifted…started noticing that i can see more clearly long distance with my reading glasses on…i know right crazy…thx Core Ascension and, kinda personal…but my lymphatic system issue is lessening..small but I am noticing it in the mirror…happy tears thx Core Ascension also, just within the past 2 weeks…my bad left leg, pelvic injury that messed up my life 4 yrs ago…is changing a bit ..I m  relying less on pain reducing products.. I am walking less with a limp…but still there… Hope others in the portal are just getting some glimpses of the miracles…i just keep asking Source for assistance and keep Core Ascension strapped to my body…like a big hug. hope the miracles continue, i want to be back to full  youthful physical health…cheers 


I had posted previously about how the decades-long spondylolisthesis issues in my spine were starting to resolve into a non-event. There is an even bigger story… over I had been diagnosed with six different spinal issues also including Osteopenia, Scoliosis, Arthritis, and Spinal Stenosis. I must admit that i never really bought into any of this, until i’d be brought to my knees in pain on too many occasions. Now, however, I know that they are all resolving into not being factors affecting my life at all. I give most of the credit to this ascension work. It has felt so profound and relevant…what i had been seeking for many years. My own physical well-being is only the beginning of something much bigger.


I thought I’d share my experience: My leaky gut is healed and I am no longer sensitive to dairy or sugar. The childhood trauma I experienced feels like its something that happened to me in a dream.  I’m no longer afraid of something bad jumping into my life. My heart is pumping Joy through my body with my blood and I’m uplifted and light-hearted. The dark vertical ridges that were on all 10 of my fingernails (probably a vitamin deficiency) is now only on 4 of them The seborrheic eczema that is on my forehead was unsightly and itchy but now is MUCH less puffy and red! The motion sickness that I’ve suffered since childhood (probably from Meniere’s syndrome) is MUCH better and less frequent. The dry eyes, bladder spasms and arthritic fingers (probably from sjogren’s syndrome) are MUCH better. I don’t get chronic infections any more and the weird bumps on my elbow (probably from epstein barr) are much less hard and pokey-outy. My struggle with co-dependence is much less difficult and my narcissistic mate is befuddled.  All these wonderful things have happened and my CC level is probably around the 70s-80s, I’m guessing.  I’m SO excited about the healing that lies ahead as our merkabah grows!  THANK YOU, Niki, for everything!


I now only need to wear my glasses for reading. This AM i was reading something and looked up towards my balcony & trees (still wearing my glasses), and wow there was no blurriness , no head dizzy feeling that i usually experience  if i forgot to take my glasses off b/f looking long distance.  Then the words “wait, what?” floated in my mind…and then …yes its core ascension. And i have noticed that night driving is not as strenuous…having to squint…I LOVE THIS….1600 here we come. thx Niki for all of your work, support , guidance and kindness through this.

YES!! That’s so awesome for you, and I’m experiencing a major shift in eyesight too. I have always had terrible vision (both near and far); I could properly see only about six inches in front of my eyes without my glasses. Last month I started to have the major shift in my eyes. It seemed to coincide with reaching CC29 and the odd healing energy experience I had. I can actually see pretty well in the shower now and at my bathroom sink without my glasses!!! There is still some blurriness but I had the realization of “wait…I don’t have my glasses on and I can basically see what I’m doing in the shower” . I know I for sure need new glasses (I’m starting to get symptoms from the too strong prescription), but I’m trying to wait as long as I can since I’m sure my eyes will continue to shift as I get to CC1600

Psycho-emotional Healing Stories

Remarkable Personal Freedom, Transformation & Spiritual Growth

As part of Niki’s first Ascension Group during the past year, so much has transformed for me personally – with the most obvious being incredible healing of past generational traumas, and newfound unexpected levels of spiritual growth & personal empowerment. Both my husband and I are part of this group, and I’ve had the privilege not only to observe my own transformation, but that of my husband – and the whole group!  Personally, I have cleared incredible amounts of old traumas.  When I re-read old journal entries, there is no sting anymore. Yawn. It’s boring to read. I’m free.  Not to say I didn’t avoid bumpy travels navigating through clearing things out as they surfaced, or that there isn’t more to clear; yet it’s fast moving now, and there’s a beautiful freedom when huge chunks of old programming just drop away and you know you are well on your way.  On a healing journey in great earnest the past 5+ years, I’ve always wondered when I’d get to that tipping point where life would flow easier with the momentum of transformational changes. Unequivocally, the “tipping point” on my journey of healing and transformation proved to be this Intensive Ascension Group led by Niki. Personal & spiritual discernment has expanded beyond my expectations, and my heart is filled with immense gratitude.  So many unbelievable synchronicities and connections have occurred, and I’m sensing such a wealth of support “behind the scenes.”  I could write a novel about it all, as I’m sure everyone in the initial group could as well, but today, I keep it to one paragraph.  Any amount of commitment put into this Ascension group will most certainly return a 1000-fold and more!!! Thank you Niki! 

Christine Deppe

Consumer Insights Business Consultant; Personal Development Writer & Coach


From the moment that I joined this Ascension Group, my life has never been the same. Where do I start? How about the beginning ! Day one Niki had us start doing meditations. Being the “Ascension Group” it makes sense now. During this journey I went through things like all of the childhood programming that was still alive and in play in my life at that time and how it was affecting every circumstance and relationship that in was in. Realizing that most everything was  not as it seemed, was huge. This is where doing the commands and learning how to use our Pendulums were absolutely the beginning of the healing. As I began to notice is was through healing that we Ascend to a higher consciousness. I have come to know the Devine Creator/ Source who regularly communicates to me and I to him and also in this I have come to a new level of compassion, love and peace as never before. I have the complete pleasure of working with a team of amazing individuals in this group who are closer to me than family and are dearly loved. Niki is so gifted as you all are aware of by now and by direction of Source has led us on this truly amazing journey through Ascension. It was not however without hard work and some uncomfortable things to deal with. No pain No gain is absolutely true for me here. I wouldn’t change a thing ! Here is one example: Transmuting negative emotions and having them come up all over again before they are GONE ! Yeah…again, I wouldn’t change a thing as it was all part of the process to freedom and Light. All that to say, we are all Ascending and there is no place/ group that I would rather be. BIG thanks to Source, Niki, my amazing group partners and last but not least, my amazing wife Christine (who is part of this group) for this journey in Ascension. Big Love to all,

Jeff Deppe

Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner and Therapist


Hello Ascension family, I wanted to share with you that I seem to have had a breakthrough in my progress this week. I shared in another post about going through the forgiveness process for my family of origin. This seems to have opened the floodgates. I had a powerful meditation last night about why I continue to have leg pain. It’s definitely associated with unforgiveness and not being 100% willing to truly surrender my last five emotions that I learned about from my hot seat in April. This was my stream of consciousness writing after my meditation last night : I’m more willing to let go than I am to hang on to the pain, I’m willing to let go of Anger discouragement pride regret resentment desire victimhood, Others that hurt me… They were frightened and angry and they were simply protecting themselves …..just like me. They were trying to feel less pain they were trying to make themselves feel ok, justified. Make things /themselves feel right in their mind. Justified strong ….they were trying to not feel powerless. Taking these actions that hurt me/ others to make themselves feel ok……just like me!!!!! I now forgive and release all of them sooo I can be free!!! Free of pain discouragement pride victimhood Regret desire!! I am free of pain and all of these emotions right here and right now!! And sooo it is!! Amen I release all doubt that this is so  I got overwhelmed with the information and didn’t know what to do with it sooo I stuffed it and ignored it just like I see happening out there on the world!!! Just feeling pain in my hip joint and releasing it to Mother Earth I can be the change So others can do it too By giving myself permission ….I give it to them! Frustration comes then goes with ease speed and grace. I release all resentment, it’s better to feel free than trapped ! My mood is lighter, I’m having less pain and things are flowing more easily. I’m doing my best not to doubt that this is just a brief reprieve. I am knowing that this is a huge change! Blessings to all of us on our journey!


Although I know how amazing this portal and the work we are doing is, it still has the capacity to astound me. As so frequently happens somethings starts to shift or a challenge arises and then that weekend lo and behold the healing ceremony is on that exact topic. (Makes even more sense now after the information Niki shared about the source codes that get downloaded alongside each topic.)  Well that is what happened this weekend, as in my meditation on Saturday morning I felt this amazing sense of gratitude towards my Mum and I just knew I need to be more giving towards her – not from a place of ‘shoulds’ but from a place of love and gratitude and then comes the giving healing ceremony! 
Then just this morning, I felt the urge to share and thank a friend for a comment she had made that had been so supportive. I have never really grasped the concept of grace, but as I sent the message, I heard a voice saying that is grace. Astounded! Thank you Niki  and everyone in this portal for the work you all do, as the field we are co-creating is powerful 


Amazing breakthrough for me today during the healing circle meditation.  I want to preface this experience with a revelation that was given to me several weeks ago – it was shared with me that when I was maybe in second grade or thereabouts, my mom took me to a local swimming pool so that I could learn to swim – she had never learned and thus took me to an instructor.  This information just dropped in that I never learned to swim because I thought that the swim teacher and my mother were trying to drown me.  My reaction at the time of this information being given to me was “that’s interesting”.  I’ve remained curious since receiving that bit of information and today just had the intention to be open to the emotional release process.  So funny – I was not expecting anything!  Then BOOM – that memory came flooding in FULL COLOR.  That was the set up for how my life was going to operate – constant struggle – trusting no one – fear – powerlessness, etc.  After complete emotional breakdown I saw that my mother and the instructor were simply trying to help me.  I then connected the dots — when I was around 6 years old, my father beat me for wandering off.  I never recovered from that experience.  The week after the incident I was sent home from school every day because I was sick.  Each day my mother would think I was fine and send me off again,  On some deep level, I knew that my father did not like me.  I would eventually come to realize (recently) that he was an alcoholic, pathological narcissist. What a SETUP this was.  Trouble speaking my truth let alone speaking at all – thyroid removed early twenties and struggles ever since as a result.  Never able to attract the people that I wanted in my life.  Financial abundance issues – I would come up with wonderful plans and became paralyzed when it came time to execute.  It was all there – health struggles, financial struggles, relationship struggles.  My life was trying to drown me. WOW!!!!!


With unknowingly having severe Developmental Trauma, the work of Laurence Heller through the Portal was a complete mind blowing shock for me. Think of someone so affected, they had absolutely zero concept that they could even be affected in the first place. I just wanted to say that the healing is happening whether we are consciously aware or not, as it is all so linked and as a direct result of what we are doing here in the Portal which is absolutely amazing. There has been lots of light bulb moments in the Portal and very little reading around topics for me as I just don’t have capacity, but healing is still occurring. I just hope that can bring others comfort too. 


I feel so incredibly grateful for all I have received here from you and what you have allowed through you in the portal. Not enough words to even express it. My heart overflows with admiration, appreciation,  gratitude, and thankfulness for all that you have given us here.  I hope your travels were smooth and easy and you feel at home there in Angel Fire.  May you be ever so blessed.


I know this may seem a small thing, but believe me it’s HUGE for me!  Whenever I have had to go anywhere, for work or holiday, I have got in a huge ‘tizz’ beforehand, for at least a fortnight and sometimes, depending on circumstance, more.  My mother was the same, so I assumed it was just how we were.  I have now been in the Portal since July 2021 and in two days’ time we are off on holiday for a fortnight: I only started making piles of stuff, finding cases, assembling socks (in pairs!) from this morning, quite calmly and without fuss.  Truly stunning improvement!  Thank you thank you Niki and the team for all your hard work and encouragement, I no longer feel like a basket-case


Thank you for your shares, they are very interesting and let me understand some of my experiences during Emotional Vipassana. During Vipassana meditations I normally first felt loneliness, then sadness in my chest, then sometimes weakness/powerlessness in my legs. Several weeks after starting with my Surrender process I began to release a sense of codependency, instability and pain, mostly in my low back. Suddenly last week several new words came up to my mind: lack of backing in my life. I’ve always considered myself as a strong, positive and independent person and it is so unusual for me to feel all these emotions. Another interesting point is that most part of my meditations many times I was not sure if I was feeling any emotion at all, but often I just had sensation of strong pressure in different parts of my body: mostly in solar plexus, sometimes it shifted to heart, to gorge, or to the second chakra, etc. On last Wednesday during Surrender group meditation a word “suppression” came to my mind and I understood that I have been suppressing all sorts of “negative” emotions from my childhood in different parts of my body. I remembered the sense of powerlessness when my Mam, or partners was accusing me that I was making her feel bad with the expression of my negative emotions so I was always trying to be positive and nice and happy… That is why it is still difficult to me to release all this stuff I have been accumulating for many years. I was really struck that my physical problems, which have been manifesting from the last year, were literally connected with some of these emotions: weakness in legs and powerlessness; problems in my back (vertebra displacement and intervertebral disk compression) and lack of balance and of “backing” of my ex-partners, instability … I understood that what I always have is the support from Source, I should just trust in it… Then I felt some release and relaxation. Then anew I started to feel lots of pressure on my shoulders and back from above, and then a sensation of relaxation. It was a blessing to receive this healing this week. I think the group energy during meditation with Lynn and Surrender group helped me a lot. Sending love


I must say thank you for introducing the format of the Zoom Hotseats and the Case Studies.  And also a huge thank you to everyone who submitted their stories and allowed us to hear & support them, and thank you for your, & Christine & Jeff’s answers. They were a revelation!  And I spent the first few weeks/months in floods of tears both for the ‘speaker’, and also for myself as I saw so many parallels.  One of the biggest Aha!s was when you were speaking of Childhood Trauma, which I had always felt didn’t apply to me as I had a genuinely happy childhood, although I could never understand why other children weren’t just ‘nice’!!  I’d always said that my problems ‘started with boys’, and it was when you (repeatedly over a number of weeks) said the age range for Love & Sexuality Trauma ran to Age 15, that I suddenly saw myself as a little 15 year old girl having to deal with stuff that no child should have to go through on their own Also, lots of things led me to investigate whether there might be intergenerational Connection Trauma in the female line, and both Christine confirmed that I had CT and Love & Sexuality Trauma – that explained a lot!


Being in this portal has helped me to understand that my husband is a pathological narcissist.  No need to say anymore.  Being on this portal has helped me to overcome vertigo, digestive and gut problems.  I would like to thank you for your help love and care.


I am so so grateful for all that the Portal does for me. The teachings are so timely and the zoom calls are an incredible support. It is a huge comfort to hear how others face the challenges this process brings and it is always so heartening to hear others for the first time. Although we are from a wide variety of countries and personal situations, we share such a strong connection through this journey. The timeliness of the Healing Circles shows that, as do the zoom shares. The intense feelings last less time and I have noticed situations that would have triggered me massively just pass without being impacted. I am calmer and freer in myself. I had no idea how uptight I was. There are not sufficient words to express the value this adds to my life. Lots of love


So much healing, inspiration, understanding and above all Love sent to me from …Source, my Guides,  Niki, Jeff, Christine &  jumping into pendulum  testing  with  Annie. Todays HC, and the many recently have been so profound for me . They have really narrowed in to what i need to heal, understand and let go of 3D stuff/karma etc…Its so exciting, and calming but above all that peaceful knowing ….esp. being in this portal with Niki guiding us..a few things but something specifically today, just popped out in Nikis guidance… saying & being real “i don’t care”…omg…that happened not to long ago with a friend. That stuff had been boiling up inside me for awhile…and i just said it to her recently,  ‘i dont care about that anymore’..if looks had daggers from her, and her response was defensive…but for me ….it felt like liquid flowing , peace & freedom in my body…so i know now that Source & my Guides were supporting me…and it was the right time that i said it….and its been such a relief since. Hugs to All & Thank you Niki as always


So I am so grateful to you Niki for everything. I feel like I have changed so much. Definitely having brought to my attention my ego right now and what needs to be surrendered. 


Yesterday’s class was pivotal for me on Responsibility. I am filled with endless gratitude to be part of your Ascension program. I feel I have always felt disempowered until your lecture/sermon!! I cried so hard at times I could not breathe. What a release! I guess the topic brought up my sorrow, sadness, and hurt from 30 years in the NICU-primarily with 4 female physicians. My peer group wasn’t very supportive because I “thought out of the box” always having different perspectives. I see how it all built up and one day exploded in my marriage. (I didn’t want to be married either) I am beginning to have a “self” which I love and appreciate now what was missing. Though I was quite accomplished in my field-I felt empty inside unless I was teaching or working with families. I am so devoted to your Ascension program, that day by day I am trusting I will heal with the guidance of Source. May my resistance of my higher self vanish!  I feel more patient! Much love and light to you and your soul. Many hugs


Thank you for a profound HC today (17th Feb). During the past week, a couple of big things have come up for me, and I’d been asking Source for guidance. I feel like the information you shared tonight around CPTSD is the missing piece that is making sense of the issues currently arising in my life. And I’m very grateful to now have some steps for addressing that. Interestingly, powerlessness didn’t come up on my list of recommended commands (not this time…I spent 20 hours on additional commands for that emotion after my hot seat last year!), but I have had a lot of unworthiness to transmute this time.


Feb 17 HC was very powerful for me as well and one I will likely rewatch over time.  So much helpful useful content for me personally.  I can now see more clearly how I can take more responsibility for my personal weaknesses and that is up lifting.  Niki’s personal shares also made it powerful for me.  We all have had circumstances that brought us to the Portal and hearing Niki’s made it more relatable to me.  Also loved her saying “at that time I would have thought if someone said that to me” (or similar) “Nutjob”. Can relate to that on an ongoing basis.  Thanks!


Thank you for your support everyone.  This ascension process never ceases to amaze me and all the other shares amongst portal members keeps me going…Niki- thank you for confirming this soul extraction and I am happy about the time saved!


I agree with you both…yesterday was a roller coaster ride for me too, oh boy!!  The HC info. session was so incredibly impactful for me…two specific ‘adult hurt’ events , from my past, came thru to witness during the meditation. And then,  last nights sleep,  dreams, & Source word drops were so vivid/!!  Yesterday was a crazy , but exciting ride. I too really appreciate Niki’s personal stories…don’t we all? That for me, makes us even more of a supportive family, we are all here to share , love & support each other. A member of a loving family, like this portal ,  should never feel they need to exclude themselves.  We are ALL in this together!! 


Yesterday, I found myself in an interesting situation. I was driving my Mum somewhere and we called my brother because we all three needed to sort out some practicalities for a family outing this week. My mum and brother had somewhat different ideas on the ideal timing of this event, and the phone call quickly descended into a passive-aggressive argument. I found myself able to just sit there and calmly observe it all, with interest and compassion…no triggering, like I used to feel. No desire to step in and mediate, just let them both say their piece and observe it all. Pretty amazing, really…also pretty handy since I was the one driving the car, and able to focus on doing that calmly, rather than risking endangering everyone else on the road, as might have happened in the past. It really is incredible how we’re all evolving!


Yesterday, I found myself in an interesting situation. I was driving my Mum somewhere and we called my brother because we all three needed to sort out some practicalities for a family outing this week. My mum and brother had somewhat different ideas on the ideal timing of this event, and the phone call quickly descended into a passive-aggressive argument. I found myself able to just sit there and calmly observe it all, with interest and compassion…no triggering, like I used to feel. No desire to step in and mediate, just let them both say their piece and observe it all. Pretty amazing, really…also pretty handy since I was the one driving the car, and able to focus on doing that calmly, rather than risking endangering everyone else on the road, as might have happened in the past. It really is incredible how we’re all evolving!


I have been a member very early on. I know that I am not the same person I once was back in 2020 but then none of us are. I love the many mini miracles, how source communicates through nature and that I am still continuing to evolve despite still having to trudge through the thick of emotions at times. Your healing ceremony on visibility resonated with me so much as do all but this really stood out to me


I feel so blessed and fortunate to have found you and the portal

Deep & profound gratitude, Niki, for re-connecting me back to Source, after years of wandering lost in the wilderness!

Since beginning this draft, and thinking back to the beginning of this year, I actually feel some of my “symptoms” have improved and I hold much hope moving into the New Year!

I follow you from the trauma conference and join portal at the start of the weekly Sunday Healing Circles. I appreciate you and your work and thank you for what you do! So, I guess this is one of my miracles. The first miracle is that, this is the only subscription in my life that I’m willing to commit financially.

I discovered your Healing Circles from attending the Trauma conference, and have been benefitting ever since. My psyco emotional healing has astonished and delighted me. It is beyond what i could have imagined or dared  to hope fori.. I am beyond grateful and joyous about this. Thank you so much. I am amazed to find myself more and more often utterring the words ‘I am SO happy’. Of course I have had and still have challenges and downs as well as ups , but being able to ‘admit’ that I feel happy – for no particular reason – without fear ( of punishment) – seems like a miracle to me !

My mum who I live with part time….We watch the healing circle together and she too is engaged with the practice/ ascension work. It’s  been so nice to be on the ascension journey with her raising the consciousness level of the self, the family and the planet!  I feel blessed to have the whole enchilada.  I’m so looking forward to all that is to come in 2024 in this portal what a ride it’s been here….and in life too. Blessings to you!


I have noticed changes, I’ve become more self aware, less reactive , showing myself compassion and forgiveness

I’ve really noticed a change and other spiritual souls have picked up on my energy. I have a calmness and perspective that I might have been lacking before.Thank you so much Niki and the team for all your incredible work!  

Hi Niki So much gratitude for this journey you’re leading us on – love and appreciate everything you’re doing for us.

I’m a teacher, a spiritual seeker, and I’ve been your Portal Member since it’s inception. It hugely accelerated my spiritual growth & brought many blessings

Blessings for all that you are doing to lead us on our Ascension path!!! Much Love

I felt like I was doing great until 2023, then all hell broke loose. I had several big T traumas happen in 2023…Breast Cancer diagnoses/treatment and a few deaths of loved ones and several other things which I won’t list.  I felt the prior work in portal helped me beautifully through these and helped me clear some childhood traumas.  I’m doing much better and looking forward to 2024!

 I have been a huge fan of yours since your super conference/summit days!  Thanks for the positive change you facilitate in our lives in the portal and in the greater universe…

Thanks for all that you do. Being in the portal  has helped me a great deal. l feel that l have made some big shifts. I am so thankful for You and for everything you do!

I have been a member of the portal since the beginning. Thanks to the portal, I’ve changed a lot and I have some very fantastic experiences (synchronicities)

I met you years ago listening to you talks from trauma conference as I was working in child abuse and neglect.  It was so refreshing to find a like mind. I did the free meditations and joined the portal. I can report the severe 24-7 headaches from traumatic brain injury are gone. Memory is back as well as dreams.

Sending a huge bouquet of thank you

I have noticed changes, I’ve become more self aware, less reactive , showing myself compassion and forgiveness. Thank you for your guidance and any light you can shed on my journey. I have learned so much , your dedication and knowledge are astounding.

Thank you for all your guidance, all the love and effort you pour into our portal.


The last couple of weeks I have been waking up feeling excited, lighter and more connected to Source.   I feel very grateful to be a member of this portal.  Thank you Niki.

I do feel that this work has been so healing for me and I’m currently in a deeper lever of my healing and I don’t think I would be where I am with out the portal. So grateful!  

Happy to report that since we began the Vipassana meditations, I’ve noticed a lightening of the pain body, not as intense as it used to be,  for which I am very grateful. My heart swells with gratitude for you, for all you do for us and this journey you are facilitating for us. Many thanks for all you do for us and creating this beautiful space.


Thank you Niki, for this tremendous opportunity for healing, growth, expansion, and ascension! I have been in the portal since the beginning, finding you through the childhood trauma summit. During one of your pre-portal weekly healing sessions, you shared that you were an ET soul! I recall getting goosebumps, and when you officially launched the portal, I knew this was the right place for me. The Emotional Vipassana /Emotional Surrender Process has had a profound impact on my well being. And although the past year has been more than challenging, to say the least lol, I’ve experienced improvements, growth, and healing, some of which are: *Hypo parathyroid recently healed (just got lab results, *Improved ability to identify, articulate and express feelings/emotions, *Less reactive, *I can finally cry,  *Greater discernment, *More self love and patience! My health issues are healing, and I’m patient while they do, as I know that, all roads lead back to two hours of meditation. Thank you for all that you do!


As another year ends I reflect on the amazing changes I have experienced and owe so much to you and the portal for these positive shifts I have made. Many changes are small at the time, but there have been so many that my life is vastly changed since joining the portal. I have far better boundaries, relationships, have moved away from the unhealthy caretaker activity that I did to exhaustive levels (bit like an addict for next ‘fix’ of helping someone only to feel utterly depleted),  much more quality family time, but most important of all – I have a far better relationship with myself. I was so fortunate to be able to do the hot seat. I shared information that people who have known me decades know nothing about. However, it felt so safe and supportive and opened my eyes to my own behaviours and how they came about. It was like going from watching a black and white portable TV to a 48 inch full colour. The missing details were available to see. It felt like a fast track part of my ascension journey as my improved understanding means I know I directed tons of love and compassion on others, but really the person most in need of that is me and now I am far more kind about any of the traits I had felt badly about before. I am not perfect, but I no longer need to see myself as ‘less than’ like I used to. When I am hit with a large, negative emotion, like Not Good Enough stuff rearing its ugly head, I feel intensely, but it clears much more quickly. This journey is a roller coaster at times, but the zoom calls and HC’s are perfect for making sense of it all. I learn so much from you, Christine, Jeff and the members that share their stories. I am so so glad to be part of this. Here’s wishing you an amazing 2024!


Things have certainly changed since joining, life just seems to flow now and I’m much more confident. I actually found myself saying to the Dentist that I was looking forward to seeing him again to have my treatment!  And last month I went on my first ever solo trip, to London for 5 days and really enjoyed it.  One evening I went out to a restaurant alone for the first time ever, ordered my food then looked up to see Princess Diana staring back at me. In 2022 I wrote about a dream, Princess Diana was helping me with my confidence…


 I have been with you on  this journey for nearly 2 years and I recognise that I am changing.  I am very grateful to you for your courage and openness and honest sharing. And to the other members of this group. It brings me hope that a new earth will be possible


Hi Niki, I have been a member of this portal since the very beginning. I still suffer from a lot of issues but my Bronchiectasis has cleared up immensely since I started doing all these meditations.


My healing since joining you September 2020 has been a miracle



On a personal note, thank you all SO much for this program! Everything I have learned so far has helped me heal and grow my life, my heart, and my spiritual connection more in the past couple of years than my whole life combined! I am truly, deeply grateful


I am not the same person since I joined in community with the portal.  I struggled with severe mental health issues which ultimately got me removed from my job at a very good school in NYC and placed on disability. Even though I craved a connection and to be loved, I was crippled and couldn’t see my way to Source. I craved the answers to this mystery of life and I wanted to be used by Source for the good of others. But I wasn’t dependable, I continued to struggle with ups and downs for years. I did continue to work hard and I did start to see and feel small changes for the better – I still couldn’t rely on my stability however and I would react severely when triggered. Then I joined the portal and as we all know, we connected to Source and the healing grew and grew.  I have been able to work reliably part-time for the past 1+ years and my confidence in my stability is growing more and more. I am actually taking on very big responsibilities that I never thought possible.  The miracle is happening


 I feel something huge may have transformed!!  I was interacting with a love interest and I had the old familiar feelings of fear of rejection surface.  Same wound/feelings and unfortunately same knee jerk reaction on my part which ended this relationship I so deeply valued.  But as the dust settled I was able to see, from a slightly different view, how my perception had nothing to do with reality and that my behaviour was actually creating the rejection I feared. I was able to surrender the big, painful feelings within hours and for the first time I didn’t interpret the loss of a relationship to mean I wasn’t enough.  I have been immersed in using the surrender approach (as per David Hawkins and Michael Singer) for a few years now, and have been working on healing my rejection fears for so long, but this time it was like a switch was flipped and I feel solid in myself and my worth for the very first time.  It’s like the need for external validation, which has driven me my whole life, has vanished. Such freedom! I’m hoping you can tell me it was a permanent shift!!!


I have experienced BIG shifts in the last two months. Especially with regards to my marriage, something I have been working on for a long time and which you gave me helpful feedback about. There is still work and healing to be done, but the shift has been life changing. A big piece of it is about me staying on ‘my side of the street’, focusing on my emotions. I have been having a lot of nightmares, about 2-3 a week for the last two months, where I am calling out in distress in my sleep. I recognize it is processing and clearing emotions. When I wake up with the nightmare I sit with the prominent emotion, holding it in compassion and witnessing. There are lots of old memories popping up as well, where I am seeing experiences more clearly, feeling even hidden emotions more clearly, and processing them. Sometimes I experience spontaneous emotions ‘out of the blue.’  It is like a conveyor belt of emotions emerging to be acknowledged and met in my witnessing heart. I turn to the emotional surrender process a lot! It can be intense and it is a lot of work, all for the good.

I did the Loving Kindness meditation this morning and it felt very special (more so than normal) and then I went into the Emotional Vipassana meditation. To my surprise, no negative emotions came up. I got ‘peace’ and ‘love’ and it was pink and fluffy. Everything felt a lot lighter as well. I sensed that all the angelic beings from the higher realms were there with me, as well as my Source team. They were all celebrating with me and saying lovely things to me. I have never had this happen before but it was really wonderful xxx

Since joining the portal and working on the stacks of my own trauma, I’ve witnessed so many incredible changes. One of the most noticeable ones is with my soul connection friendships. I’ve, for the first time in my life, been able to attract other high frequency people and have EVEN friendships. Not ones where I was desperately trying to rescue them and then feeling ridiculously hurt when they couldn’t support me in the same way. I’m simply not attracting the same people I used to. I’ve met two of my best friends in the past two years. Two woman who have shown up and allowed me to experience true friendship for the first time ever. It’s so cool to be able to experience this. I’ve always been social etc. but I’ve never been able to form healthy bonds and genuine connections the way I can now. With open honesty and integrity within the friendships and with myself throughout. I’ve noticed the amount of protection the portal provides and I think energetically it’s  played a key part in my growth. It’s allowed me to shield myself from being “plugged into/ drained” (from humans and beings!). Honestly this has been a completely life changing experience and the journey is only set to continue!


I have to tell you how grateful I am for you and the portal. I can’t believe i somehow found you and am involved in this journey starting with the free meditations you offered in 2021 and all of the steps up to this point. I have never felt this amazing emotional happiness and present in my life before this process –  even though i still have some isses, I feel there is so much more to look forward to. Thank you for everything. 

I want to share about an experience that I had when I was doing the emotional release meditation recently. A couple of months ago, I learned that I had attunement trauma and trust trauma. I really felt disappointed because I thought my mother was a good mother.  In my meditation, I was feeling fear, and I was looking back to when this fear started. I saw myself as a very young child, just paralyzed by fear, and my mother, who is strong, brave and outgoing, was just standing there, looking at me. I saw her frustration with me. She just couldn’t figure out what to do with this scared little girl. I had so much compassion for her in that moment, as well as for myself. She couldn’t attuned to me because we were so different. This was a huge shift for me with fear, I’m not afraid to moving outside my comfort zone. I’m stepping up in so many ways. I feel so much ease and grace and freedom in my life since doing this meditation daily, as well as the loving kindness meditation.  Thank you everyone in this portal, I feel the love every day


I wanted to share that with you this because when you and Source volunteered me for the Hot Seat in March it really changed my life in so many ways. Lots of positives happening. I feel like a different person.  So often Source validates me and things I keep private because of trauma / brain things / torture and you or the Coaches validate (directly or indirectly) those things completely unaware of the weight of that or how much it allows me to accept and to heal and the relief… it really was true and I’m not crazy or something worse. I really appreciate that so much and being here and every one here.  I feel such a big weight has lifted and it makes me feel a little tender and raw to feel that relief and the fact I was basically planning to end my life before the portal and now I have a new life and hope and love and a big family!  The months following up to the portal I kept hearing “when the student is ready the master appears.” I had been following a mystical “ascension” journey – but didn’t realize what ascension meant. It was just going up the Dr Hawkins map of consciousness via Caroline Myss and St Teresa and Lao Tzu. Just letting go and healing. As best as I could while it felt like everything fell apart more each day. So sending you a big hug and lots of love and appreciation.
Wins along the Way  Today as I began meditating a few things occured to me.  1. I no longer feel so aware of the Sands of Time trickling in the hour glass. For example, I have noticed I don’t look at my phone to check the time as much; only when I really need to. I also feel less worry about the months passing by and less favoritism for particular months.  2. I realised I stopped reading my monthly horoscope and checking all the planetary transits. Not because I lost interest but because I know I’m partnering with Source, so I can manifest better outcomes even during Mercury Retrograde.  3. I feel far less overwhelm when faced with a to-do list. My energy and movement is calmer as I potter my way through my backlist of things to do. I don’t feel so rushed.  4. Far less afraid of letting go of things that I enjoy, to make way for prioritising things I enjoy the most.  5. Strangers I encounter, are friendlier and lighter/sunnier in their energy and demeanour. 
Hi Everyone, I just had my first ever amazing experience while in the Emotional Vipassana Meditation.  I was holding anger from last night in my neck and as I focused on it,accepted it, it disappeared!!  This was my first meditation with Emotional Vipassana!! Wow!  Thank you Niki and Source!!

During the meditation I reviewed that scene with the ants and my husband and the feelings of abandonment and then worthlessness came rushing in. My emotions felt that he didn’t care to help me which lead to he didn’t care about me which lead to abandonment and then I must be worthless.  I saw a beautiful gentle elephant come to me and embrace me with her trunk like a big gentle hug. I heard the words “it is impossible to be abandoned “ I had an immediate feeling of wholeness and connection to source. The feelings of worthlessness melted as I knew that was impossible too. It brought back memories of early life abandonments. That’s where I first learned to store emotions about abandonment and worthlessness. Tears just flowed down my checks! I really did feel a release and what relief. So amazing to see how seemingly small events can lead to amazing breakthroughs. >nd BTW my husband is a great guy who does care. He was just busy in his own world at that moment , to jump into my “fix it now” world !So thank you ants and my dear husband for being a part of todays gift to me.



WOW, makes me giggle b/c every time i think how can things get any better  in our healing  ascension journey & practise, then BAM, i experience today’s new guided meditation…it was so impactful /and also very exciting for me. First, the original Vipassana music from way back ,has been one of my all time favourites…so i had a smile on my face from the get go today.  As Niki started guiding us to the chest/heart area, tears just started welling up & so i remained neutral & just followed Niki through it….i started feeling a pain/ache  in my left shoulder blade…really sore there… i just breathed through it and then the emotions popped in really quickly…no  deep thinking  needed…it went from loss of love, then sadness, then disrespect, then anger then yep fear. Then the memory of a past relationship (like 30 yrs ago) came in….wow, i really thought i had dealt with that/him…but Then as those feelings/emotions were rising., i just thanked them, glad they arose & came through for me to heal….then the aching in my shoulder disappeared…but then it moved to my left knee…that got sore and my whole left leg started moving…and restlessness flooded in …and then stuck-ness…then i had a dull headache..i kept with it all and just followed Nikis guidance…and then the tears stopped and everything just dissolved (no aching ,nothing )and my breathing became calm & relaxed….OMG…my mind is just blown away., i am so excited to do this all over again tomorrow.  Love it all….thx Niki for this amazing journey & helping me to release what lies beneath…It does feel like layers are pealing away….

Here’s the good news! I have healed all self hatred, all my depression, all my sadness, and my fear and paranoia.  My sleep has improved and I have loads of energy most days (even if I’d had a poor sleep).  I have developed authentic, loving relationships with friends who love me for who I am. My relationship with my husband and children have improved. And best of all, my relationship with myself has changed from self hatred to self-love!  I have finally found a group where I belong, my true Home and it feels great!

I have reached a point in the ascension process where I feel love, joy, optimism, serenity and gratitude most of the time!! I still have things to work on but I am gently helping and loving myself through this process.  

I couldn’t have done any of this without the support and guidance of everyone in this Portal!  Thank you Niki, Christine, Jeff, Annie, Lynn, Nira, all my Portal friends and Zoom friends. And thank you to all of you who are bravely walking through the darkness into the light.  We are all healing. Trust the process!  You will get there.  I hope this helps anyone who’s struggling.


y work in this portal, with Niki, has been nothing short of IMMENSE! My work through Niki via her clear, consistent,  loving, teaching has brought me immensely and lovingly home to myself…..  an amazing self !!  One that has developed so much through giving to others even if I wasn’t able to give to myself or receive. It is sometimes easy to disregard the passion and creativity of giving – I simply hadn’t found my path Home to me, my incredible body, my wit and delicious humor, my strength, and my deep compassion. Niki’s authentic directives and guidance from Source rang true for me and I committed.  Years of being held by the false beliefs and patterns of not deserving a life, not deserving to be seen or heard, much less appreciated…. These false beliefs have been transmuted!!!! I am aware of them, they pop up here and there, but they simply seem to exist in some place of nothingness…..I am deeply grateful, I send continued support and strength to all of you!


Thank you for all that you do Niki!  I have definitely noticed so much emotional healing in myself since I started in July 2021.  (No more self hatred, negative self talk, depression, sadness). I feel much more peace, contentment, love and joy than I ever did! Sleep issues have leveled out.  I’ve learned so much from you.

Five years of traditional Freudian psychoanalysis, four times a week on the couch; 60 different consciousness raising workshops and trainings, from Dale Carnegie to Zen Buddhism and not one of them produced the results I’ve achieved in the year that I’ve been in the Ascension Portal. Thanks to the work and information Niki shares and the remarkable variety of music for meditation she provides, plus the energy of this wonderful community, I’ve overcome lifelong habits of knee-jerk ego reactions. I’m rarely triggered now, and when I am, I have the awareness and ability to recognize that and not act from an old conditioned behavior. I’m not perfect – every once in a while I still lose it, but I’ve learned not to beat myself up about that. I’m much better at forgiving myself and others and I now treat myself (for the most part!) with the loving acceptance and compassion I give to other individuals. I am deeply grateful for the Ascension Portal and everybody in it. It has made and is making a profound difference and improvement in my life. I know that as each of us expands in consciousness we have a beneficial effect on our beloved planet. I am so grateful for this work and this Ascension school!
You’ve asked us all many times to write to let you and the members of our portal know what is changing for us as a result of being in the program. I haven’t contributed till now because the many changes I’ve experienced since discovering you (on 11.22.2020) hadn’t yet come into focus. Things are powerful, subtle and profound and every day brings new levels of awareness and appreciation for the changes I’m experiencing. I am so happy and excited and that the work we are asked to do is so challenging, rewarding and hopeful. I want for everything you say, to change us, in time. I think that you, and the incredibly powerful dedication and energy you bring to your work is absolutely stunning and, I know it’s hard-won, to say the least. I appreciate and believe in you and am so excited for our shared futures! I try to limit my sadness and frustration about the world these days and want you to be right about it “all being fun and giggles” after activating the 12 strands of DNA… but I’m also prepared to accept whatever else may be lurking in that mix. I’m learning to recognize how much resistance plays into the difficulties (great and small) I experience and to understand what “limiting beliefs” really are, and to transform them so they don’t sabotage my progress. I’m taking better care of myself, have developed greater awareness of putting boundaries in place (without remorse), and see things more as they are and, with a nuanced awareness I never had before. I am hopeful for my future and have personal goals for greater involvement in life vis-a-vis connecting with others and becoming more of who I am destined to be. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for cracking open many of the doors I had pried shut. You’ve given me hope for life to be better, easier, and more well understood. I hope to meet you in person one of these days to thank you for the profound and happy influence you are having in my life. Thank you!
35 years ago, in August 1987, Timothy Wyllie and I organized the Harmonic Convergence meditations in Central Park. Several hundred people attended, long before the internet, drawn by word of mouth. Timothy was my partner at the time. We conducted dawn meditations in my apartment overlooking Central Park for a month after that. I was no stranger to spiritual matters, having worked in consciousness for a dozen years prior to that, giving workshops and conducting weekend retreats in the country. I mention my history not to toot my own horn but to share that I’m not a “newbie” to this work. What I’ve been doing since I became a member of the Ascension Portal at the beginning of this year far surpasses anything I’ve done 47 years previously. The transformations I’m experiencing are remarkable: releasing old conditioning, quickly recognizing and moving out of ego states, remaining loving and compassionate with people who used to make me nuts. I attribute these amazing examples of growth and healing to the incredible power of our group and most especially, to Niki’s dedication and devotion. By doing the work on herself Niki has created a morphic field that uplifts and benefits all of us, not just me. Although she hints at the toll this work takes from her, she never discloses the full story or indulges in a pity party. She shares herself and her process whole-heartedly; she is authentic and she is a treasure. My gratitude and appreciation are boundless. Thanks and blessings to all.
Niki asked if we were feeling more empathic, patient and less judgmental with people. My response is ABSOLUTELY! I am more willing and able to listen to people and hear what it is they are trying to express BUT, what’s also become stronger is my ability to “hear” what it is they are not saying verbally. I can “hear” the underlying truth more clearly which allows me the ability to ask them questions to help them describe their own feelings in a more detailed way. I have more of an ability to help them become more aware of how they are feeling. Also, I am more patient and able to put myself in the other’s shoes so to speak. I can do this without feeling threatened personally or feeling like I am in competition with the other person. I can set my ego aside and listen whereas before I was threatened that people would misunderstand me or I would need to defend myself from them for some unknown reason. I was always in fear around others. Now, I can approach people with an open mind and heart. Such a blessing
I have explored most of the material in the portal. Now I am catching up with the healing circles I missed.   I have had lots of improvement in my health, physical and emotional.  So much more at peace. My relationships with family of origin felt easy. There were some difficulties before.  I guess perhaps there still are some, but I just do not react the same way at all. Self doubt is super low, or not there at all.  Occasionally it would come, then it just passed by and was gone! Thanks for all the work you do.

My work in this portal, with Niki and the Portal has been nothing short of IMMENSE! My work through Niki’s  her clear, consistent,  loving, teaching has brought me immensely and lovingly home to myself…..  an amazing self !!  One that has developed so much through giving to others even if I wasn’t able to give to myself or receive. It is sometimes easy to disregard the passion and creativity of giving – I simply hadn’t found my path Home to me, my incredible body, my wit and delicious humor, my strength, and my deep compassion. Niki’s authentic directives and guidance from Source rang true for me and I committed.  Years of being held by the false beliefs and patterns of not deserving a life, not deserving to be seen or heard, much less appreciated…. These false beliefs have been transmuted!!!! I am aware of them, they pop up here and there, but they simply seem to exist in some place of nothingness…..I am deeply grateful, I send continued support and strength to all of you!


I wanted to share how much better I am feeling! My leg pain is mostly gone and the flatness that haunted me for months has lifted!!!!!  I’m enjoying more present moment awareness and acceptance of what is! This is amazing to read! I am so happy for you ️ Like you I’ve suffered such deep pain for months on end and just today I feel it’s starting to lift & I’ve finally felt some energy.


Abundance, Manifestation, Career & Relationships

I’ve been in the Ascension Group since last September. In a word, I can say this is completely life changing. Do not hesitate to ascend as quickly as you can. You will not regret it. Like many of you, I had doubt, resistance and didn’t make the time to do the meditations. I began at 20 minutes a day and slowly began prioritizing it as I saw the results. You will too.  Momentum is slow at first, but it builds and builds. I can only say I wish I had dedicated myself far more, far sooner to reap the benefits I enjoy now.  

My health has improved dramatically. Prior to beginning ascension, I was 25 lbs overweight, having hot flashes, sleep issues, hormone imbalance issues and had a number of food intolerances and blood sugar issues. All of this has resolved, though I still have about 15 lbs to lose. I can say I really have changed nothing in my diet and exercise routine, but have lost 10 lbs easily. I’m honestly in shock by this. My skin looks younger – I have a glow. Moles and wrinkles are disappearing. My back pain issues are almost completely resolved. My eyesight is improving. I can eat any food I want without a reaction, though I am trying to be vegan as much as possible. I have a lot more energy and sleep really really well. 

I was also a workaholic, pouring myself into work to feel better. Now I work far less and spend more time with my daughter and taking care of myself. I don’t stress about projects, money or the future. I don’t feel stressed during or after work like I used to. Things just FLOW. I enjoy work more than ever. I know more abundance is coming because I am more in alignment with my life’s purpose and mission – because I’m constantly asking Source what to do. I don’t have a thing to worry about. Everything will align when the time is right. I can ask any question I need on what project to focus on, what I should do in the future, what is in my highest and best interest. I don’t have to fret because I have all the answers right at my fingertips. 

I was also in a terrible relationship with a covert Narcissist for three years. I was completely in love and attached to him. I knew I needed to leave and tried many times – but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. This was the typical type of relationship where a healer/intuitive is inescapably attracted to a narcissist. It was only through this ascension process, and asking Source to give me the courage to leave and transmuting self hatred (which kept me in the relationship) and asking Source to show me his true nature, that I was able to leave him. And it was shockingly revealed who he truly was. As soon as I asked Source to show me his true nature, I caught him lying, manipulating, stealing from me and far more. Prior to that I had been in complete denial. The veil of denial came crashing down when I was ready to see it. I left immediately and have not looked back. I have been set free and cannot be happier. Never will I be subject to narcissists or manipulators like this because I can ask Source before I enter into any type of relationship – romantic, friendship, business –  if it’s in my highest and best interest. This gives me a tremendous peace of mind, I cannot tell you. 

I can also say that I have tremendous peace of mind knowing the answers to what is happening on this crazy planet right now, re Covid, vaccines, politics and the negative elite. I believe without this 360 degree view granted to us by Niki and the ability to ask my pendulum questions, I’d be one fearful lost soul indeed. Given this work, I feel I have nothing to fear and feel i’m in total control of my destiny. Again, total peace of mind. 

I also feel that I finally have found a spiritual practice that I am in total alignment with. I’ve always searched, but had doubts or felt something was amiss in anything I tried. Now, I revel in my daily meditation with Source, knowing I finally know who I truly am and my place and purpose in the planet and the universe. I could not be more thankful for this opportunity and for Niki’s courage to bring this knowledge forth in the world. 

Wendy Myers

CEO Myers Detox, Functional Health and Energy practitioner

Having worked with Niki in her Ascension Group, I can honestly say that Niki is a master at work, and I am honored to have been mentored by her. Under Niki’s expert guidance I have learned a system of analysis that consistently and repeatedly outperforms standard protocols. This has been a huge milestone for me and the way I work as a functional health and energy practitioner. The biggest impact has been the unfolding of my medical intuition skills, and energetic testing abilities.  The results with clients have been nothing short of miraculous. Coupled with her meditations, and scientific background, Niki truly is the trainer of trainers.  Much gratitude to you Niki 

Andrea Grandson

Functional Health Practitioner, Medical Empath and Nutritional Therapist

I have been a student of Niki’s first Ascension Group. All what I can say my health, emotional life and my progress in my career as a yoga therapist changed completely and improved so much. Niki’s meditations they transformed me to my best. I could not be without them anymore! I am very grateful and thankful for participating in Niki’s Ascension Group. I had all kind of issues with my health. I had thyroid cancer in my thirties and a full thyroidectomy. Now in my 50s I had to deal with intense hormone imbalances, digestive problems and food intolerances. Now I can manage my thyroid easily, and I recovered totally from all other health issues. My female hormones are in complete balance I can eat everything I like again. My energy level and stamina is very high, even after a long working day.

Emotionally I was very depressed and angry, due to an abusive relationship. I was living for 7 years with a narcissist, he manipulated me mentally daily. Until I found out that he cheated on me. That was a blessing so I could move on with my life and find myself again. With the ascension work, I finally recovered, feeling joyful, blissful, satisfied, completed, relaxed, energized and beautiful again.

Also I am so grateful to Niki, she inspired me to become recognized all over the world in my career as a yoga therapist. Teaching group classes over Zoom. My dream came true, now that gives me the courage to create an online business. Designing a website with customized programs online. I am looking forward to being invited all over the world to present my style of yoga therapy for different conferences and health retreats. My daily devotion and commitment to Niki’s program gave me the opportunity to find to love myself again. I so respect and love Niki’s tremendous knowledge, compassion, kindness, understanding and amazing intuition skills. I highly recommend to participate in her programs.


Doris Puehringer

Internationally Renowned Yoga Therapist

Hi Niki, I am truly grateful for what you’ve helped me achieved during these last 8 months!

Your Ascension Group has been a life changer and a lifesaver!I started in January 2021 and in only 8 months, I’m already at creator level 29.  More importantly, I have grown emotionally, spiritually and physically. It was overwhelming at first, committing to hours of daily commands and listening to the meditations 24/7 but with Niki guidance, I was able to prioritise my days and get organised.  I started doing daily commands, morning, noon and night with my continuous mediations and immediately started noticing big changes in myself and how I was showing up in the world…I started to see things differently and became very aware and clear of my life’s purpose. Prior to joining Niki’s intensive program, I didn’t know how to live, love, accept or value myself.  As a result of going through her intensive training, I am now able to create healthy boundaries, something that was always missing from my childhood right into adulthood…thankfully that is now a thing of the past. During Niki’s intensive group we were asked to write a future vision of the life we wanted to create for ourselves.  At first, I was resistant and could only visiualise a very small safe and comfortable vision…which would result in no real growth at all.  However Niki helped pushed me out of my comfort zone and now happy to say that I have achieved tangible in results my career, improvement my personal relationships and after procrastinating for more than 30 years, I finally have the clarity, wisdom and mindset to write my very first book. Niki’s mastery at teaching me how to get the truth from myself, using my pendulum, is absolute genius!  Today I walk in the knowledge, that every decision I need to take is divinely guided and I am able to get the right answers, at the right time! I thank you for the opportunity of joining your intensive group and the transformation you helped me achieve along the way.  It was certainly a lot of hard work, but most definitely worth it!Here’s to your next 500!


Angela Hammond

Business Development Specialist, Writer & Motivational Speaker


I have been a portal member since the beginning, after initially joining your weekly meditation sessions. I have had quite large changes in my life since joining the portal. These have included practical changes, like moving back to the US after many years abroad, and separating from my husband of many years. I have also changed internally a lot (which precipitated the practical changes): much greater confidence, decreased anxiety, and a greater connection to Source.


 I just wanted to thank you for sharing the information we received about changes in relationships from this past Saturday’s healing ceremony. It was so helpful for me! For many months, I have been struggling with a huge resistance towards my sister. And I was beating myself up a bit for feeling that way. Even though my sister had said some things in the past that hurt me, I felt that I should have been able to release those feelings of hurt through the emotional vipassana process and move on. But in spite of doing all that work, and practising the loving kindness meditation, the resistance was still there. I just couldn’t figure it out. I knew that I didn’t want to have a conversation with her about it because I didn’t even know why I was resisting her so badly. But I just kept my distance for a while and it seems to have lessened recently. I am now able to spend time with her in very small doses. but I no longer feel the same joyful, excitement I once felt when we used to spend time together.  So, thank you for that very timely healing ceremony. It validated what I was feeling. And gave me permission to allow myself to accept these changes in our relationship. The chart you showed us with our frequencies not aligning makes perfect sense to me and is so helpful! I definitely recognize that I come from a family where strong family bloodlines are important, and to try to keep those ties strong, but I recognize that Source and our Source Teams help us find the people that resonate best with us if we are willing to let go and flow. I am happy to report that I have made many strong, authentic connections with people who do resonate with me because of the work I have done in this portal. And I am very grateful for that. Thank you Niki and fellow Ascension portal members!


I feel SO blessed to know that I am / we are in the right place at the right time!  The guidance, the protection, the tribe, the LOVE!  It is breathtaking.  Thank you Niki, Source Team, coaches and Portal family  and I finally got 100% correct in pendulum testing, YAY !!!!!

I love love love this portal. I have been a member since the beginning.  I have listened to all of the healing circles and zoom calls on replay. I really appreciate you and all we are up to in the portal.  I am very happy to do this work quietly for the benefit of mankind and the world at large.

I’ve been in this portal since the beginning and following your work before then and hold much gratitude for you. I’ve made a lot of progress since then! You’ve been an inspiration both in fostering dedication to this work along with faith in the process which is paying off.Tremendous progress is being made on my health which I will write about as it unfolds a bit more! This portal and these teachings have been life changing. Thank you!

I feel very fortunate-not only to have found you and this work, but for connecting me with my dear sisters-the NYC Merkababes! (We are bringing in and anchoring the Light in the New York City area

I feel so much gratitude for you Niki for gently guiding us on this journey of discovery, healing, truth and discernment. I feel prepared to ride out the oncoming storm of chaos in the world, whereas if I didn’t have this information and level of understanding, I would be living in fear and despair for what is going on.


Just a quick update on what happened re. benefits…  A few weeks ago I got a letter to say that I’d been placed in the ESA support group, without a medical!!! I can’t emphasis enough how awful those ‘medicals’ are, and how long it takes to recover from them when they do happen, so to be spared that was more than a relief… it was a total miracle!!! And since I got that result my health has begun to improve- my physical pain was about 80% better within a week, my sleep is getting better and my energy is beginning to improve too  But most important of all is that I feel like Source has really had my back through this- first in providing me with doctors appointments so that I could get some evidence and then giving me this fabulous result! I was a one-laner so progress on physical healing is still slow, but being supported in this way gives me so much faith in this process, and that hopefully soon I will heal physically and no longer even need to claim benefits… So thank you again Source! And thank you too to everyone who wished me well in this process, much love to you all


The interview went really well and I got the job! I was still nervous but I felt something shift and I was able to deliver the presentation with confidence that came from somewhere. It really is a big shift from how I’ve felt doing interviews or presentations in the past. It’s hard to put into words but it was like I no longer feared criticism in a life or death sort of way! Plus I felt more confident about myself. Yes maybe some of this change is age and experience but I think it was more than that too. It’s a teaching job so I will have to get more comfortable with being visible and in charge! It’s only a part time zero hours job with Adult Community Learning teaching Arts & Craft, but it feels like a big step forward. I haven’t taught a class for over a decade although I’ve worked in education as support for years. Turns out that qualification I did in 2008 was useful after all! Mind blowing and so powerful. My breathing issues have all since diminished.


I’ve been in this portal from the beginning and like so many other people here I can honestly say that I am not the same person as I used to be. To make a long story short, the biggest thing for me is that I am happy in my marriage for the first time in 36 years (actually all the way from the start of my relationship with my husband) I am 52 years old and we’ve been together since I was 16 and he 20!


Hi Niki. Back in July you told me my breathing problems were due to stress from financial beliefs and that I wouldn’t complete with the 18th for the same reason. I bought the book The Having, as you suggested, and since I have been practicing the “Having” and changing the narrative around my financial beliefs, money has flowed in. My parents gifted me a cheque if $7000 and my work gave me triple time for a days work instead of the agreed double time for working on Thanksgiving. I paid an unexpected vet bill of $2000 without grumping and feeling ripped off and angry. I paid it with the thought that I am so grateful to afford this bill and thankful that my doggie is no longer in pain! Mind blowing and so powerful. My breathing issues have all since diminished.


Months ago I had a Divine Feminine &  Masculine Healing Session with Christine in June showing my Divine Feminine was a little lower than the Masculine (86% vs 91%). She recommended I cultivate more female friendships and amazingly right away I met a couple of women who we connected on so many levels ! These friendships are wonderful for me because they live only 15-20 minutes away, where most of my other friends live 40-60 minutes away. I’ve lived in the Santa Cruz mountains 5 years now and am finding ways to connect to this community. I have attended a couple string concerts, I made another new friend who works at our new shoe store & lives only 1/2 mile away!  I’ve also reconnected with friends who live in Silcon Valley. I felt so supported on 11/13  spending time w/ 2 different friends and that evening with my daughter, having female energy surround me as it was my mom’s birthday~ who died 4/2019. I am happy I really took care of myself in this way, particularly on that day. Today I’m headed to a women’s retreat here in the mountains~ excited to meet some local women & have some playful & creative experiences together! From the Soul Art classes my intention was to lovingly connect to myself in playful and creative ways……this theme continues! I hope this brings some encouragement to you~ now it’s time to meditate! 


Just want to thank you for your incredible job, it definitely made a huge impact in my life. Lately I had my little miracles in a simple day to day tasks, my  interpersonal communication significantly improved, I always struggled to fit in and had to adjust to be accepted, difficult personal relationships, still single, don’t have family of my own but accepted me as I am and filling happier and much more confident


I have had amazing progress and I have had so much healing and amazing things happen in my life since joining the portal.  I have learned so much from watching the Hot Seat calls. Lastly, thank you so much Niki, this has been an amazing journey I have shared with you and this group.  I am a totally different person than the one that started this journey and I am grateful.  Thank you


 I commented on the dog, “you’re so pretty!” I thought I heard the owner say that her dog is pretty, so I repeated, “yes, she really is pretty.” to which the lady replied, “I actually said, “You are very pretty!” I was a bit taken (ego) back but thanked her nonetheless. Incidents like this are happening more frequently- random people start conversations with me or ask for directions when there are others they could ask. I’m beginning to see how the “avatar within” is coming through and it really feels wonderful. What a beautiful gift we are getting from Niki, being here in the portal and reconnecting to Source. Thank you


Thank you so much for taking us through this process of ascension. I feel I’ve always been somewhat spiritual but would have never thought I’d go down a path like this. It has been amazing to see the changes in my mental state and I have been soo loving the clearing of and increased connection with my source team. I also feel so blessed to be able to work on my spirituality from home while I get to raise my 4 littles. I hope to be a better mother to them and show them a different path to spirituality than mainstream religions. We love listening to your meditations at bedtime. I feel like your meditations have also helped me keep a much better attitude while my 9 month old is still working on sleeping through the night. I figure nighttime becomes the perfect time to meditate if I’m not sleeping anyway. Thank you again for being our kind, discerning, comprehensive teacher in this process.


In another ascension slog, I was thinking, I don’t want to be with people, I don’t want to inflict my trauma behaviors and mistrust on to people in my life. Then I thought about my new friends from the portal and I reflected how I have seen such growth and changes in their behavior, their way of connecting with others. I am grateful for the profound love that we are cultivating with one another. I am in awe of the softness that is happening in our little group here in NYC and in the writings here in the forum. We all seem to be softening. I realized that we are mirrors for one another and we need each other to know ourself. Just like Source needed to create us to know itself. We look into the eyes of one another to see our own growth, our own soul. Without one another we wouldn’t know we exist. I am grateful for clarity and softness. I am wishing you all patience and encouragement to keep going through the lows in this process – we can do this – together we can do this!


I’ve cried tears of joy as I experienced visions of coming home, celebrating with my family, ancestors, and portal family, reaching a level of self-acceptance and gratefulness for my simplistic life that I never have before. The healing continues. So many ups and downs, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve connected with so many wonderful people through this journey. My relationship with my husband has greatly improved, and I’ve noticed many positive changes in him as well. I’ve made new authentic relationships and shed the ones that no longer serve me. I’ve changed my lifestyle, quit my job, and became a full-time mom and wife to my two teenage kids and husband. My sleep has improved and I’ve healed many emotions while still learning to accept myself as more come up for clearing and releasing. I’m living my most authentic life, and I couldn’t have done it without you and this portal. Thank you


From a member of the Intentions Setting Group on wins: I have had many wins! A free spin bike! (Gave my friend a grocery gift card, she had received it free too!) A wonderful weekend away out of province with my daughters to B.C. coast without rain! (no stress at airports either!) A full-service campsite in July for 3 weeks for some alone time to meditate & journal, then with grandkids & friends paddle board, bike, hike! (we have tried for years to get this kind of site for this long!) Thank you Intentions Groups!


My manifestation intentions have been around financial security and abundance which is funny to learn this is a common challenge for many of us in the portal. 2 weeks ago 2 job opportunities were confirmed for the month of April: a weekly meditation class for a company and a spiritual coaching client! Last week I received an email from my accountant sharing that I will be receiving a generous tax return which is the answer to my prayers and intention to have rent paid for.  It is above and beyond! Also last week I came across a post of a person asking for more book recommendations about wealth. She mentioned she just finished the book “Having: The Secret Art of Feeling & Growing Rich”.   This peaked my interest and it felt like a nudge from Source.  I was able to borrow the audiobook from the library and I am really enjoying the teachings.  It is reminding me and re-enforcing the spiritual practices of feeling into the sensation of abundance.  Things I have heard before but I feel it is strengthening my belief in the classic idea that how to think and feel about money and wealth.  It’s like it is helping me reprogram my brain and creating new neural pathways! I’ve been feeling this SO much that I also received 3 more job opportunities this week that made for a full productive and profitable week for me!!! 


I wanted to write in the forum and put down some of my experiences over the past year. I remember last year when Niki did the year end live meditation and talked about how we had all grown so much and that there was 1/3 of the portal which was not the same person at all. Another third of the portal were getting there but quite hadn’t quite got there yet. And the last third we’re on their way. I was in the second third section. I was definitely still the same person I was when I joined the portal in July. It helped so much to get Niki’s reassurance and promise that I was on my way and that soon I wouldn’t be the same person. Well, a year has passed and I can tell you without reservation that I am amazed, shocked and awed at how much of a different person I am. On the surface in my personal life not much has changed. I still have many issues, abundance, love, creative blocks. But the underlying structure of these blocks is being eroded and washed away. These blocks are disappearing. I was the one that was too afraid to take action, I was the one that was too ashamed, too full of fear, too full of anger and rage, too full of pain, too full of trauma. So I can definitely tell you as the New Year rolls in, I’m definitely not the same person. Not even close. If you had told me all these things would happen now probably wouldn’t have believed you! Because they would’ve seemed impossible.  And I can see it happening with everybody I hear everybody I talk to. They are not the same person. And it’s fun in the morning when I see my meditation group and we all smile at each other and we know deep down inside that there’s a connection that can never be broken, that will be compatriots and friends forever. There’s nothing that can tear us apart. The same goes for the pendulum group that seems to have this amazing commitment to pendulum testing and showing up and my heart just opens up when I see them and they’re there and they work so hard! They work hard! Well if this past year is any indication of the changes to come in 2023, the next year is gonna be amazing!


Here are a few things that transformed for me and it just keeps going:

  1. I trust my self, life and others . I have rarely experienced trust before. This is a big one for me. 
  2. My physic abilities evolving so fast. I used to doubt my visuals messages, thought it was just some imagination:) I can read people , it’s kind of scary and awesome in the same time. Lots of compassion and understanding came with it. I feel like a badass physic now :))
  3. Lots of clarity in every aspect of my life. No more feeling lost.
  4. Boundaries issues – tremendously improved!! I used to be one of those people who drops everything for everyone. Now I effortlessly check in with my self first if that feels good for me or not. Saying “no” is easy now! I have more time for my self!
  5. Manifestation l!! Ok, this one is so fun!! Little things that I want would immediately show up. I feel like a wizard:) 
  6. I used to not have dreams for the past five years and now I have these amazing beautiful vivid dreams! Some of them are pretty hot! 
  7. I am not afraid of swimming in the deep water anymore ! I had drone in the past and I would panic each time I couldn’t feel the floor . I recently went snorkeling in the middle of the sea and I was absolutely at peace the whole time! 
  8. Seems that my husband and daughter are also benefiting from ascension school, I see a positive change. More harmony, understanding, improved communication with each other. it feels so good!


I’ve had a number of great shifts with ascension, but probably the biggest change I have noticed with ascension is I feel like a better Mom. I feel like I am more present with my children, have endless patience, and so much more love. I didn’t think I could love my children anymore than what I have, but that love affair that Niki has talked about with Source is what I feel like I’m having with my children. Being more present with them, I am noticing so many more of their fun corks, smiles, laughs, little things about their personalities I hadn’t noticed before. I also thought I had a lot of patience before, but now I am amazed how I can remain the calm in their storm and be firm when I need to without getting emotionally upset myself. Now when I do get upset, I notice my ladies almost being surprised because they don’t see this often. It seems my children have really responded to this as well. I have noticed they don’t get as upset as easy so we are able to talk about situations more instead of escalating to getting so upset we can’t talk about a situation. I have found myself enjoying them all the more and pleased that hopefully my husband and I are teaching them better ways of living through our example. Of all the things I have experienced with ascension, I think this is the one I am appreciating and loving the most.

Psychic Experiences

I had the most profound experience in my garden last night. I was guided in real time to see a shooting star! I felt ET presence (my skin feels very hot from the frequency). So I went into my garden to ground and look at the sky. I close my eyes and see one of my ET family right behind them – like a holographic image in my mind. They were Lyran! The being had a lion-esc face and a broad lion-y nose. They distinctly said to me “home” and “Andromeda.” Blown away, I open my eyes to look up at the stars and smile so broadly. As I’m grinning up at the sky, I’m told to “turn, keep turning”. I turn about a 1/4 circle and when I stop, the Lyran spoke again to say “turn right”. So I turn one more time. I stop, and there – right at that spot – I see a shooting star. I cry. I just cry with overwhelming joy. I am stunned and flabbergasted. The latest portal mediation upgrades have been stunning! Thank you so much 


I’ve been having quite strange and intense dreams recently maybe some of this is processing but a couple of times I’ve had unusual conversations in my dream. Last night I remember having this quite vivid conversation with an unknown elderly woman. It was like she was in on something no one else knew and she said from what I can remember something about an angel being with me and would I test (with the pendulum) if she should get turquoise earrings! I don’t know what to make of that but it felt different to the usual dream stuff. Also I woke up suddenly last night because I heard a voice say ‘hello’. This wasn’t in the dream, it didn’t sound like a human voice and I woke up a bit scared. A few days ago in a dream I was having another vivid conversation with someone who at first seemed like my friend from school but then I realised it wasn’t them. It was a young woman with long hair, when I left her I saw she had a blue face but this was like a glimpse that disappeared. I don’t remember the whole conversation but I remember her saying ‘ you’ve penetrated ‘ which is an unusual phrase! But I took it to mean I’d broken through some sort of barrier. A couple of days ago I was doing the Field Clearance meditation and when it got to the bit where Niki says ‘the earth star’, it was like a female figure suddenly emerged from the earth star’. Next she came close to my face on the right side to look at me. Also it was like I was in a building like a cathedral and then floating or levitating horizontally whilst the golden bubble of white light surrounded me. Also and this is weird it was like I was floating above a tomb. It’s hard to explain because obviously I wasn’t there, I was in my bedroom at home ! Oh also I’ve become aware of often hearing music just before I wake up although I can’t remember what it was once I’m awake.


So I have been seeing Angel numbers everywhere recently. Mainly 111. Yesterday I was in bed all day recovering from a stomach bug. Saw 111 222 333 555. Actually laughed out loud at 555 and said  “ha you missed 444” Got up in the night, glanced at the clock and guess what time? 444!


I am completely blown away days later after meeting my partners higher self which i mentioned in prev post … Since joining portal ,  I have had experiences with seeing energy and other realm activity, communication with beings. But this experience was just such a privilege ,i am still integrating how just completey life changing this was. The soul was beside my bed in illuminated white light human looks, immediately I knew it was my partners soul  … The transaction was all i can describe as an energetic transmission,the soul did not talk,we were communicated telepathically the communication was in the energy transmission  itself , it was not like human structured conversation. The joy, love and light the soul was  embodied, was not any range, feeling or intensity i could comprehend i  3D, limitless and completely boundless of the purest love. i was given a message to not sweat anything, a huge loving reassurance just simply to shrug the problems we create off and to unburden ourselves. It make me think of Jeshua said ” My Burden is light ” The other part of message was the soul showing me energetically what is to be free of the ego…. A glimpse into this was a completely mind blowing gift ,  a  incredible life time experience, I feel so privileged to witness , to be able to observe this has enabled me to anchor this memory internally, since that night i keep returning to this feeling i was able to experience through the souls message, which is now a  stored experience in my body, i cry everytime i sit and recall the experience with gratitude to have a demonstration of this is truly a gift.


I am sharing my experience I had today as I think people would find it interesting to see how far reaching and deep this work is and know that it is worth the journey. It has been a “rough ride” the last 6 weeks as stated from my Ascension Progress report with Christine  2 weeks ago in terms of physical and emotional detox as I integrate the 18th strand and that has been from doing 30 minutes of meditation about 3 to 4 times a week!  There have been times where I thought I would just pack it in as I have had enough positive shifts that I would be happy to stop the ascension process.  Hence why I needed to know how my progress was going for encouragement.  Anyway, my experience today when doing a Network Spinal session definitely woke me up even more as to how powerful this ascension work is and I could not make up what happened to me in any shape or form or anticipate it.  When I did the emotional vipassana meditation the emotions that often came up briefly was this deep entrenched fear and despair.    During this time I became aware of 3 humanoid beings watching me , a woman, man and a boy.  I knew these beings as they were the same beings that showed up when I first joined the portal in early 2022 and I felt that they were my family and that I remembered why I came into this body: it was my turn to incarnate on the Earth plane to learn and experience.  I did not want to leave them but I was told it was part of my ‘duty’ and role to help humanity so I had to go.   It was quite overwhelming as the fear and anxiety was coming up.  Then the words ‘soul extraction’ popped into my head and I could feel this energy shooting out of me especially from my solar plexus and the beings were there to receive the energy after I made this releasing guttural noise.  It was then my body calmed down and I stopped shaking and I knew my 10th D ET soul was no longer part of me. (my soul reading report stated that I have 10th, 11th and 12 D ET souls) That 10D soul has chosen to go back to her soul ET family as it was time and the suffering endured over many lifetimes no longer needed to be experienced but it also did not want to ascend as that soul missed her ET family and home too much. It was a strange awareness feeling that the soul looked at the pink nebula and said not now and went ‘back home’ in a different galaxy and dimension. Since this happened this morning I have felt lighter and more at peace. Christine told me that I had to adopt the feminine attribute of accepting the chaos and to go with what comes.  I think I am more trusting of that after this experience today and that we cannot anticipate how this ascension journey will enfold and to stick with it and the magic will happen and is happening.  Thank you for reading my story from today.


The sun was shining so then I decided to do a round of emotional vipassana while taking advantage of perhaps the last sunny day and to lie on my balcony. And while I was lying there, again the floodgates opened up, all through this last week that happened too, most times not clear what was being cleared out. This time however one of my darker thoughts popped up “Why didn’t I just die from my C-infection, this is all too hard and I don’t know if I can do this”. It hasn’t popped up in quite a while now, so I feel this was perhaps another layer of the deep darkness clearing. Because straight after that, with the tears still in my eyes, nose still clogged up from crying and feeling very contracted physically, an answer popped in “Because you’re here for a reason, it would have been easier but well here we are” and I actually snorted and laughed through my tears, getting such a sassy reply (from myself or from Source?). And as soon as that had happened and I turned around to lie on my back (for equal sun distribution), I felt immensely loved by the universe, warm waves of pleasure pulsing through my body, feeling held and cherished. So beautiful.


Wow, many vivid dreams are occurring more & more these days esp.early in the a.m’s & getting more & more in my face to look at! I had another one early this morning ..the msg. to just be the observer. Here’s what happened…i guess i was in a theme park with rides…and what i was standing in front of (best way to describe it), was a huge long, tube…somewhat like the old lottery-style drums that you put tickets in and turn round & round. It was made of  metal tubes…so you could see through it. I was very close to the entrance of this ‘ride’ and watched many people getting inside it. This tube was on an angle…so part of it was off the ground. The people getting on looked excited, ready to enjoy the ride and started crawling towards the top of this cylindrical tube…i entered it & just sat right at the door and looked up as people crawled into this ‘ride’….immediately it looked like a metal prison to me & i jumped out. I asked the guy who was taking the tickets…how this ride worked…he said…there are no seats, no seat belts, and the tube will spin around & around…tossing everyone around; he then laughed..I felt so sick & horrified that this even existed…i turned and quickly walked away…as i got further away…i heard screaming, crying….and then i awoke out of the dream…i was a bit freaked out but i knew the msg for me was to stay above the fray of what is happening globally & just observe..don’t absorb; keep meditating., keep clearing!! I immediately put on the field clearance meditation & i felt more peaceful.. so many nods & nudges coming so fast no


I have been hoping for a breakthrough and today I believe it happened…a date to mark on the calendar! In the middle of the night while tossing and turning, I decided to do the LK meditation followed by the emotional vipassana. I still wasn’t sleepy, so I decided to lie on my back, which I haven’t been able to do for many years, and really tune into the pain. With my training in energy healing combined with the somewhat altered state created by the meditations, and because of my extremely strong psychic connection to my many past lives, I saw that I had an arrow protruding from my left hip flexor, which was the immediate source of the pain. I was able to energetically remove it, and heal the field, whereupon I realized that I had many other weapons still contained within my energy field. Apparently I have held an energetic connection to the countless weapons that caused my often slow and painful demise in those lives. Later in the morning, during the last meditations, I felt compelled to send the LK meditation in my own version, to all of those who had harmed or killed me in past lives, and who had harmed or killed everyone and everything that I had ever loved in past lives. I also asked for LK for myself in probably having harmed and killed many others, myself. I felt an emotional release as I kept saying the LK meditation in this way, and was overcome with gratitude for feeling that I had been touched, if only briefly, by a state of grace. What an unexpected gift.


I’m sharing today for the first time, following a very deep meditation this morning where I felt like I was visited by Green Tara.  She told me she was here to help me heal my solar plexus chakra and I felt my hands warm and knew where to place them above my heart and solar plexus chakras.  I heard the words trust and let go of the false fear. I was then encouraged to let my solar plexus feel the love of my heart and my heart to feel the pain of my solar plexus.  I felt a sensation come up from my solar plexus and into my heart and continue to rise into my throat. I was fully able to relax into it and it started to move up into my throat, which  felt constricted as I breathed out the energy. I felt into the constriction and the vulnerability of sharing my story and that is why I’m posting today.  There is still a seed of doubt that maybe these things are just my imagination and somehow if I post the ‘illusion’ will be burst, rather than believing it will validate or support.  I have had other experiences, such as frequently feeling the presence of Mother Mary and testing she is a member of my source team, but the conflict between wanting to share and fearing the whole thing is my imagination supporting a ‘pride’ shadow aspect of myself has stopped me. So today I am stepping into the vulnerability of sharing and posting. Sending gratitude to have a place to do this


The strangest thing just happened . Source woke me at 4.30am with a message that Jilly and I will integrate the 18th and for me it’s all about the Loving Kindness Meditation . Once I learn to love me for who I am anything is possible  I have never experienced anything like this before Not sure what you will test but just wanted to share this with you as I’ve never understood before how you communicate with Source as I’ve never felt anything nor been able to pendulum test either.


I had a most amazing experience.  I was not able to watch the live broadcast of the healing circle Saturday.  Instead, I had to go pick up some beef that I had ordered from a farmer that sells at the farmers market where I used to live.  I live alone now and had been feeling weak lately and when I had a little piece of beef for lunch one day, it dawned on me that I was low in iron and probably protein.  It was a beautiful day when I got to the market and it was very busy.  There were so many more stalls than when I had been there in early spring.  The live music filled the air.  Everyone was happy including me.  I took in all the stalls with the beautiful produce and bunches of fresh flowers.  It used to be my favorite Saturday morning routine.  I went to the stall to pick up my meat order and surprisingly the guy remembered me and we chatted for a while.  I left to return home filling the same fullness and completeness that I had always felt in earlier years. When I got home, I decided to jump right in a watch the healing circle.  I settled in for the meditation carefully waiting for an emotion to rise up.  Nothing came but I enjoyed listening and felt relaxed.  Toward the end I began feeling some sadness coming up but the meditation was ending.  Just as the music was stopping it came to me “rejection” leads to “self rejection”.  I was stunned.  I sat with that in the silence. (I want to interject here that I have been reading “The Having”.)  For so many years, I would go to the farmers market and be with the abundance there.  The farmers that grew the beautiful fruits and vegetable were my friends.  I was filled with appreciation for all the efforts they put into growing such beautiful food.  I loved the smell of the fresh basil when I got home and began putting the produce away.  “I was HAVING!!!!’  For many years I would try to share my wonderful farmers market experience with friends and my family.  “Why would you go and spend all that money when you can go to Costco or the supermarket and get stuff so much cheaper.” was the typical response.  I had so wanted to share my feelings of abundance and felt nothing but rejection.  As I sat there with that feeling, I realized that what was wanting to happen was the inward self rejection that I had held onto wanted to just melt away.  I was HAVING this abundant experience with complete freedom. And SO IT IS!


Niki mentioned in yesterday’s Healing Ceremony that we should ask our source team for help. I remembered what had happened to me last week. I was struggling with pain and I was wrestling with whether I could manage to go to work. It’s not too many hours, but the work is physical. My source team came in loud and clear and told me they would give me ‘a helping hand’. They also told me that they could see how much effort I had been putting in and they wanted to ‘lift me up’. I totally trusted them, and I managed the work and had some real positive moments. I suffered for a couple of days after but I was so pleased with my achievement. I then got another message from my source team, they were literally lifting me up and carrying me and cheering me on. This morning I listened to ‘Deepen’ and I felt so much love coming through the meditation and the lady singing seemed louder and more angelic than normal. That love has stayed with me all day and it’s been amazing.


I have to share this – I have been with the portal for over a year and a half and never written on here (part from case study) but once I had this experience I had to write in.  Ever since I was introduced to Reiki years ago I have always had a pool of colours flowing when I’m in meditation stage. Then many years without anything, then the pool came back on and off over the last year, only recently it had been cloudy – this morning whilst listening to the love and light meditation weekly healing circle I was in that space with the pool of colour, within a fraction of a second it speeded up and I saw in the distance a circle of people/figures spaced out in a certain format – it felt so powerful it woke me up out of mediation. It felt so real, powerful which gave me palpitations – I instantly said ‘they exist’!. OMG buzzing. Thank you xxx


I’m a writer.  I have a lot to say and yet I can’t make myself tend to it.  I saw a bubble in my periphery that I’d reveal the contents of if I started writing.  I saw an aspect of my child self.  I had started having panic attacks after having Covid.  I had never had them before that I could recall.  This aspect of my child self was in a constant state of panic.  I could see her in a room, locked in, no windows clawing, reaching, unable to breathe, in terror.  She couldn’t bear the situation.  I saw myself leaving her there.  I didn’t look back.  I left her there.  I had to leave her to survive.  I couldn’t survive in that state.   I felt so much pain, grief for leaving her, guilt for being selfish, shame for what I’d done.  I was little, I’d forgotten about her.  I was able to explain to her that I was sorry, but I had to go on, I had to live.  I explained it to her and held her in my minds eye.  I was able to forgive myself realizing that my psyche couldn’t take anymore.  My mother always told me I was selfish whenever I did what brought me joy.  I always felt selfish, but all of that got transformed.  My back pain is significantly improved


For the last week or so (hopefully it continues!) I have been having an amazing experience of ’empathetic knowing’ (the only way I can describe it).  What that means is, in my normal life, when I am dealing with all sorts of people (but I am noticing it most with my family members), every single time I am annoyed, puzzled, perplexed,  etc., and the voice inside my head asks the question of something, I hear/know an immediate answer, which is so clear, and always empathetic and compassionate rather than accusatory, put out or annoyed.  Its crazy but wonderful and amazing!  And is making me feel so understanding and compassionate its unbelievable.  And then that compassionate feeling is followed by love, gratitude and peace. This new thing just feels so outside of myself, as if this insightful, wise, compassionate response is coming from someone, as if I voiced the thought out loud to a benevolent caring nonjudgmental counsellor who was right beside me listening to my feelings and giving me answers.  I’m sure its Source. Whatever it is, its super cool, super wonderful and I’m loving it